Most of us have the same information and its subject to interpretation. I accept your opinion eventhough I disagree with some of it. (I am obviously a Joe Bonanno "guy" and I don't look to make him the "villain of the narrative" like most people do but I am not bias, I have my critiques as well)
1.) All due respect but I'm not gonna take the wiretap of the Jersey Boys with a grain of salt. Sam The Plumber was not the best source of what was going on in NY. And I could argue that NONE of the NY bosses words could be taken for "truth" during this time.

Many people love to discredit Joe's book for one reason or another (and I agree there is B.S. in it but it is a reference) but I am inclined to accept the words of an original Commission member on how it operated...... I believe that what brought the Families peace was Autonomy. Everything point to that from 31' until the late 50s. That was the strength for guys like Bonanno and Profaci, who had smaller clans then the Luciano and Mangano groups. It wasn't until they started setting a Precedent for being involved in inner-family
Decisions (namely the Anastasia Fallout), that the Commission even considered it. Bonanno was planning naming the new regime, which still would involve him to a certain extent and that from a influence and financial extent, would cause problems for the other Families, particularly pertaining to drugs. When Tom Gagliano made Tommy Luchesse Boss, it was excepted without question (you could argue that, it was on the strength of Tommy Brown) but it proves my point that, the Commission had no authority (in Bonannos mind) to make certain request of him. Bonanno was going by the old guidelines and in the course of some mishaps and the meetings become less frequent, ideas changed and the Commission (a committee of peace) became side alliances used to undermine and usurp rivals.

I leave it with this, during that whole period after the story came out, why not more bloodshed amongst the Gambinos/Luchesse and Bonanno? Another thing, why not more strife with the Joe Colombos new regime? And last but not least, I find it had to believe that a guy who spared a traitor(Di Gregorio) would be so bloodthirsty.

Its was big problem for Joe B. To have national reach and international ties to pass on a strong Family to Carmine Galante, Paul Sciacca, Rusty or whomever and still be involved.Thats a huge problem for the other Families. Who does it benefit if both the families that control Brooklyn are screwed up?