Hes definitely ashamed of being a rat. He probaly just wishes he could have plead out like some of the luchese guys or scarfo guys who did 20+yrs and can go back to there old hood and show face. Hes living in denial. That why he even says i still hold the mafia in respect. Even a gene gotti bet hes back in the fold. There was a boston made guy i forgot his name but he reached from little rock ak out to that lawyer cardinale and said he regretted flipiing and dying alone away from his family. If he could take it back he would