Oh dear lord! Paul Walker can't act worth a damn! Oh wait, that isn't news. Opps, sorry!
Michael Crichton's "techno-thrillers" always to seem to have the same formula: Some very rich corporate scumbags discover a scientific-groundbreaking method, machine, or creature. They plan to exploit the hell out of it commercially. Outsiders brought into it, get entrapped as the shit hits the fan, and struggle to survive. Oh and they learn that playing God at {STATE CREATURE/METHOD/MACHINE} is very bad. Yes sir, very bad!
Well, TIMELINE the novel plays by these groundrules, but the premise actually could have been a promising property for a Hollywood movie. I mean, modern-day archaeologists get trapped in 14th century France, having to live out plagues, very sharp swords, Knights that say "Ni!", and so forth. Besides, Richard Donner is a capable director to have turned this sucker into maybe a pleasing popcorn-munching picture.
"Could have been" being the magic words here.
Instead, we get a very very mediocre effort where the "hero" in Paul Walker doesn't do jackshit, except look good and somehow defeat obstables that with the lack of intelligence and skills displayed by him....are almost divine. Really, he's the new Josh Lucas, as in being heroic because...well, because the movie says so, dammit!
Other than that, you have characters you don't give a damn about, a whole twist ending that revealed itself 50 minutes beforehand, and worse, one fucking thing that fellow historian-buff Double J will piss-laugh when he hears this: Billy Connolly recreates Greek Fire for the baddie Frenchies.
Ok, to those that had grades of "C" in your high school history courses, let's explain that fuck-up. Fact is, the actually process of how to create Greek Fire is like the Gardens of Babylon, the Lighthouse and Library of Alexandria...as in, lost to time. Hell, if we knew today how Greek Fire works, and apparently in TIMELINE, its casually known as well as for a cooky British professor, it would be a sweet weapon to have today. I mean, those crazy Palestinian terrorists would love to have it, same with the North Koreans and probably us as well.
I know some history and reality truths are allowed to be bended at times in motion pictures, but for God's sake. Really, people that allow for the dumbest of shit to get through are those that probably think Michael Bay is a good director.
Meanwhile, the actually subtle and quiet ending for the baddie in the book is instead replaced with...BLAH, which fits exactly for such a bland film. Hello, Brett Ratner's X3 there? Yes, tell it that it has a new roommate in hell.
