Maybe this is a weird ? for a Organized crime forum. But I can't talk to my friends in my immediate life about stuff like this. None of them would get it. I never really had any regrets about any of my past relationship except one other. . But I saw just today a girl I had gone out with, was pregnant and engaged. She was an amazing individual and probably the most beautiful girl I have ever been with. We went out last year and I fucked it up.I let something really good go. And seeing that today about her having a kid with someone else really messed with me. She would of stuck with me and there was a chance we might of gotten married and had kids. I left her though I was dealing with a lot of personal shit and I didn't know how to tell her, which is something I have to work on. I don't know. I am turning 27 this month and I can't tell if I am messed up over this girl. Or if I am just getting old seeing people I care about settling down with other people, combined with losing other people in my life that I have cared about deeply.

Have any of you ever felt like you had a special relationship get away? I have had 2 now that really hurt when I think about how I let them go. And I just keep thinking about how in a Bronx Tale and Sonny saying that you get 3 loves in this world. And I worry I will have lost all of my chances without realizing it. I used to want to be single forever. But now after having lost a ton of close people , I hate being alone. And I am happy with who I am. But it hurts when you let an opportunity like love leave.