Franklin Roosevelt used to tell a story, with himself as the implied punchline:

A Fat Cat would approach the same news stand every morning, give the guy a dime, pick up a newspaper, and look at the front page. Then he'd put the paper back down and walk away. Finally after a year of this the news stand guy asked, "Why do you just glance at the paper every day and then walk away?"

The Fat Cat answered, "I'm only interested in the obituaries."

The news guy said, "Obituaries? But you never open the paper!"

The Fat Cat explained, "Believe me, the S.O.B. I'm looking for will be on Page 1."