They used to have a commercial, where cousin Giorgio came from Italy and they wanted him to feel at home so they brought him to olive garden.

"And then he shot us" my mother would deadpan every time it came on.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?