Tied up in a sack and thrown over the back of a burro?

Seriously though, I am the complete opposite of a coffee snob. I actually had a barista once refuse to make my milky latte with 3 sugars (but you might as well be drinking sugar and milk bro!!!) till I called his manager and told the fucker to make me my goddamn coffee. I watched him like a hawk too, I was sure he was gonna try and spit in it or something.