One day on the farm, a little boy kicks a cow. His mama says if you kick the cow you get no milk.
The next day the boy kicks the pig. His mama says if you kick the pig you get crappy bacon.
The day after he kicks the chicken. His mama says if you kick the chicken you get no eggs.
His daddy walks through the door and kicks the cat. The little boy says to his mama: "Should I tell him or do you want to?"
"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis
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