That isn't the universal case at all. Being made is most certainly a privilege. You definitely make more money and are being blessed with significantly more power. You go from working for someone and kicking up, to having a crew of your own kicking up to you, taking orders from you, etc. Fosco is speaking through what Willie Messino told him. Messino just happened to have a prick for a boss who scoured money & lied to his underlings. He's an exception to the rule.

Being made would definitely be a deterrent. You are responsible for a crew of employees. You are privy to details about said employees that could seriously cripple their livelihood. It is a gigantic responsibility. Much more so in the Outfit than any other American Mafia organization.