Hard to believe for a pleasant easy going fellow like me but I had a bit of a bust up with an old chap yesterday. Now before you think I am a horrible so and so for picking on fragile old geezers let me explain. I walk the dog on a field near me which is bordered by some old folks bungalows. I go there regularly and often take young Matty with his ball. There are no signs to say no ball games or the like so imaging my surprise when this old geezer appeared out of nowhere and started in on me big style. No football, no kids, was I daft?, he was going to call the police, blah blah blah!!!

I have always been taught to respect my elders and I do but this old chap was quite the ticket. I tried to talk to him but he would not have it, he was up in my face spitting all over me and swearing. All my points that there were no signs and it was just me and a 7 years old boy kicking a ball around fell on deaf ears. In the end (after swallowing vast amounts of anger) I decided to retreat and told Matty to come on, to which the irascible codger grinned and said "Glad we got this sorted out son" to which my temper finally snapped and I responded "I'm not your f*****g son, if you were 30 years younger you would be on your arse, now f**k off". Not proud of that outburst at all but i was provoked and eventually snapped.

When telling the family of this, after they all finished laughing, both of my other boys informed me that he is the scourge of that field, where obviously lots of kids gather.

It's probably a good thing it did not end in fisticuffs because he was a tough looking old bird, he would have probably knocked me on my arse