Shamus asked Paddy how he got his black eye.
"You'd never believe it," said Paddy, "but I got it in church."
He said he had been sitting behind a fat lady and when they stood for a hymn, he noticed her dress was creased into the cheeks of her arse.
"All I did was lean forward and pull it out and she turned around and hit me." Said Paddy.
A week later Shamus was surprised to see Paddy had another black eye.
"I got this one in church, too," explained Paddy.
He said he found himself behind the same fat woman and when they stood for a hymn her dress was once again creased into the cheeks of her arse.
"My little nephew reached forward and pulled it out. But I knew she didn't like that, so I leaned over and tucked it right back in ."