I'm reminded of the old Henny Youngman joke:
My wife says to me, Gimme eight inches and make it hurt. I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth.
Yeah, I seriously doubt Henny Youngman said that. After a quick google search, it's been attributed to both Redd Foxx -- he was hilariously vulgar! -- or Andrew Dice Clay. Who knows who originally said it.
Joke ranges from girlfriend or wife, 6 or 9 inches, twice or 3 times, and hit her with a brick.
In the book
Truly Tasteless Jokes (1981) it's phrased, "Did you hear about the masochist who said to her boyfriend, 'Give me nine inches and make it hurt.' He F***d her twice and slapped her."