I'll answer them. I have some time.

And all these control/blackmail gathering questions asked of children were penned up by L. Ron Hubbard. Questions like:

What has somebody told you not to tell? I won't tell.
Have you ever decided you did not like some member of your family? I didn't actually decide not to like them. It happened naturally.
Have you ever taken something belonging to somebody else and never given it back? Yes. Virginity.
Have you ever pretended to be sick (ill)? Yes, although I never pretended to vomit.
Do you have a secret? I have many.
Have you ever noticed something wrong with your body that you were afraid to tell anybody about? What's wrong with my body is plainly evident to anyone, who cares to look at me.
Have you ever done anything you were very much ashamed of?Have you ever failed to finish your schoolwork on time? Yes. Refer to Question 3.
Have you ever broken, damaged, or taken, any school property? I'm sure I have done all three, but can't remeber what.
Have you ever lied to a teacher? In First Grade I told Miss Finnerty that she was a wonderful teacher.
Have you ever been late to school, or late to a class? Yes, but only because I try to live a life free from temporal restraints.
Who have you made guilty? (I believe it should be "Whom", Sparky) But to answer your question: Most of my clients in my defense attorney days.
Is there anything you should tell your parents, and never have? I'm the one who bumped into the garage door in 1981.

Have you ever hurt a child? While celebrating a Steeler victory in Super Bowl XLIII, I ran to hug a friend, but ran into a nine your old boy and accidentally knocked him down a flight of stairs, but the little bastard was rooting for the Cardinals.
Have you ever made a child cry? See above.
Have you ever made a child sulk? I hope so. Otherwise I'd have failed as a father.
Have you ever kept another child from having something that really belonged to him? Not since I was six and half.
Have you ever found anything and failed to return it to its owner? I find change occasionally, but don't attempt to locate the owner. In 1987 I found an envelope with $1800 in the library of my law school. The owner was located and the money returned.
Have you ever told stories about someone behind their back? It's a hobby of mine.
Have you ever lied to escape blame? I've actually led a blame free life.
Have you ever not told the whole truth about something so as to protect someone? It's kind of my job.
Have you ever felt ashamed of your parents? Never
Have you ever felt ashamed of your friends? I have several friends, who've brought great shame on themselves and families, but I never felt ashamed of a friend.
Have you ever disappointed your parents? Absolutely.
Have you ever run away when you should have stayed? No. But I've stayed when I should have run away.
Have you ever felt sure your parents wouldn't understand something that had happened in school, so you didn't tell them? Other than Calculus, no.
Have you ever not told teachers something about your family because they wouldn't understand it? Well, nobody can really understand my late Uncle Jack.
Have you ever failed to keep another child's secret? Never
Have you ever felt it was just no use talking to someone? Every day of my life.
Have you ever hurt someone you didn't mean to? I'm sure I have.
Have you ever been sloppy about your clothes or possessions? Someone told you, right?
Have you ever cried when you shouldn't have?Yep. I rarely cry, but when I used to watch my kids on merry-go-rounds, something would make me tear up.
Have you ever been a coward? I chickened out of a bungee jump once.
Have you ever told on anyone? In First Grade I told Miss Finnerty that Anthony Laneski exposed his genitals to the girls during recess...but not in those terms.
Have you ever done something to someone that you'd hate to have done to you? I had to fire some people on a few occasions.

That's it. Where do I sign up.