Two cows were sitting around the barn and one said to the other, "I was artificially inseminated this mooorning."
The other said, "What!? You're pulling my leg."
The first replied, "I really was. No bull."

A guy walked into a bar, lugging a big chunk of macadam. He spotted the bartender and said, "Give me a shot of whiskey...and one for the road."

In the same bar a skeleton made his way to the bartender, saying, "Can I have a beer and a mop?"