A man sees a good looking lady giving him the eye in the supermarket!
"Do i know you?" he asks her.
"Are'nt you the Father of one of my children?" she asks him.
He quickly thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful.
"Were you the hooker i made love to over the pool table at my stag do whilst your mate spanked my ass with a big stick of celery?" he asks her.
"Er no..." she replies "I'm your son's teacher!"