Two more goodies from the Land of the World's Stupidest Criminals:

Local guy, who'd been secretly stalking a 17-year-old, offered her a ride to work in his pickup. Instead he drove her to a deserted forest road and attempted to rape her. She got away and hid. But the guy couldn't find his way out of the forest...so he called the sheriff's office to help him. Soon as they arrived, the girl ran out of hiding and told all. Sheriff booked him for kidnapping, assault, attempted rape...

A 24-year-old was at the local hospital with his 17-year-old wife who'd just given birth. He thought the medical people were dissing her, so he started a fight with doctors and nurses. Cops were called. Guy resisted arrest, grabbed one cop in a headlock and injured him, finally was Tasered into submission. His lawyer called it "just a melee."