It was after Elizabeth Taylor's death. Jane Russell had died a couple of weeks earlier, and when Zsa Zsa heard the news about Liz (according to her publicist or husband, I can't remember which), she became hysterical and said, "Celebrities always die in threes - I'm next!" Anyway, they carted her off to the hospital (again) and probably sedated her for a few days before she was released.

But the old gal certainly has not had it easy: Last year her leg was amputated above the knee, and she recently refused to let the doctors amputate the other one. They said she probably would not live out the year without the surgery, but she was adamant about keeping her remaining leg.

I used to think the "real" Zsa Zsa had been replaced long ago by one of those alien pod-people from Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but now, given the recent turn of events, I'm not so sure.

In other celebrity news, actor Jeff Conaway is in very bad shape. He's in a coma and unresponsive in a California hospital following an apparent overdose of pain killers. The former star (Taxi, Grease, Babylon 5) has battled substance abuse problems for years. Reports are that the prognosis doesn't look good.

Signor V.

"For me, there's only my wife..."

"Sure I cook with wine - sometimes I even add it to the food!"

"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?"

"It was a grass harp... And we listened."

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute?"

"No. Saints and poets, maybe... they do some."