The local newspaper runs "celebrity news" on p.2. They had a little story on why Diane Keaton has always been single. The headline read: "Keaton: Mr. Right Never Came."

I sent it to Jay Leno with a comment: "...but I bet he had fun trying."

Ntra la porta tua lu sangu � sparsu,
E nun me mporta si ce muoru accisu...
E s'iddu muoru e vaju mparadisu
Si nun ce truovo a ttia, mancu ce trasu.