The reality is that a Don makes and breaks his own rules. He can require an associate to whack someone before officially being "made," or not. Since you mentioned Patriarca, Fat Vinny Teresa in his very readable book says that the Boston Mob never officially made anyone--"they just kinda called you to The Office one day and said that was it," or something to that effect.

Ntra la porta tua lu sangu sparsu,
E nun me mporta si ce muoru accisu...
E s'iddu muoru e vaju mparadisu
Si nun ce truovo a ttia, mancu ce trasu.