Top Ten Ways To Make The Godfather More Appealing To Teenagers:

10. Marlon Brando gets two-foot tall sidekick, Mini-Vito
9. Enemies now killed by the explosive flavor of snapping into a Slim Jim
8. Three words: no Jar Jar
7. Sonny Corleone ambushed at tollbooth by foul-mouthed South Park character
6. Corpses of victims get dumped in Dawson's Creek
5. Theme song by Ricky Martin, "Livin' La Cosa Nostra"
4. Instead of organized crime, family now makes money by selling term papers
3. Change title from "The Godfather" to "The Puff Daddy"
2. Goodbye severed horse head, hello severed Backstreet Boy head!
1. New title: "I Still Know Who You Whacked Last Summer"