A month after "The Producers" opened on Broadway, tix were going for $900 each. One evening a well-dressed elderly woman showed up with front-row-center seats. She sat in one, and put here hat and coat on the other.

Lights dimmed, overture started--and no one showed up for the second seat. Ditto after intermission. Lights went up after the play concluded--still no one.

Man sitting next to the woman asked, "Pardon me, ma'am, but was your husband delayed in getting here?" "No," she replied, "he died a few days ago."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," the man said. "But, didn't you have a friend or relative that you could give the seat to?"

"Nope," she replied. "They're all at the wake."