Three men had a very late night drinking Guiness. They left in the early morning hours and each went to their home. The next day, they all met for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first guy claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks." The second guy said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped it around the first tree I saw. And I don't even have insurance!" The third guy proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my wife, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!" The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first guy spoke out again, "Listen, guys, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog."






One day Mom was cleaning her sons room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."





Two dwarves pull two girls and take them home. They both get the girls into their rooms but the first dwarf can't get it up and to make things worse all night he can hear the second dwarf shouting "Here I come again.. 1 2 3 uuh.." The Next Morning the first dwarf says to the second dwarf "How embarrassing I couldn't even get an erection" The second dwarf says "You think thats bad i couldn't even get on the fucking bed!"