Little boy crying in the local store.
Man says to him "What's up son?"
The little boy replies "I cant find mummy"
The man says "What's mummy like?"
And the boy replies "Big cocks and Miller lite".



an London girl was in a car crash in NY city
paramedics came dragged her out noticed she was hurt and bleeding...
he asked "where ya bleeding from "
She replied, “I’m from North London!”


Two prostitutes from essex were standing on a street corner.
One says to the other, "Have you ever been picked
up by the fuzz?" The other replies, "No, but I've
been swung around by the tits!"


Little johhny is in his sewing class when he catches his finger on the needle and starts crying.
"whats up Johnny"? asks the teacher.
"Can i have a glass of cider"?
"Why" asks the curious teacher.
"Cause everytime mummy gets a prick in her hand,she puts it inside her"


Was in an Indian restaurant the other night and the waiter came over and asked "Curry Okay"
I said "Oh go on then, just one song then fuck off"