Since SC posted a Russian joke:
It's the early days of post-USSR Russia, and Boris Yeltsin has summoned Fidel Castro to Moscow for a meeting. "Fidel," he shouts, "Communism is dead. Capitalism is in. You got to get with the program..."

Castro's got a hangdog expression, bowing his head while Yeltsin lectures. He notices that his Soviet Army-issue boots are in tatters. He pipes back, bravely: "Boris, you lecture me on capitalism vs. Communism? Your damn country can't even make a decent pair of boots!"

"Bulls**t!" shouts, Yeltsin, his face purpling. "Russians make the finest boots in the world." He opens his desk drawer and takes out a gun. "Here, Fidel," he shouts. "You can search high and low throughout Moscow. If you find one person in bad shoes, I give you permission to shoot him!"

Castro walks for hours through Moscow, looking at people's feet, banging into lightposts, bumping into cars. Finally, at twilight, he stumbles, all done in, onto a park bench. He notices a bum sleeping on the bench, his face and torso covered by newspapers. The guy is wearing the rattiest pair of tennis sneakers Castro's ever seen. "Aha!" he says, regaining his confidence. "Just what I was looking for!" He whips out the gun, shoots the bum, and returns, exhausted, to his hotel room and promptly falls asleep.

The next morning, an aide brings him the newspaper. The headline reads: "Cuban Ambassador Assassinated by Bearded Madman."