Middle aged man is driving his car along a country road when he spots a police car roaring up behind him, lights flashing, siren shrieking. He pulls over.
The cop runs over to him and says, "Hey, your wife fell outta the car more than ten miles back."
"Oh, thank goodness!" the guy replies. "I thought I was going deaf."
Here's one I just received in my e-mail:
BLACK PANTIES
Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally, Karen says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replies: "Mum! I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Cat skills.
Their first night there, she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties; he in his
birthday suit.
Looking at her he asks: "Why the black panties?"
She replies: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."
He knows he's not getting lucky that night.
The following night the same scenario.
She's standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his
birthday suit, except that he is wearing a black condom.
She looks at him and asks: "What's with the black condom?"
He replies: "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
