Dude, mix in a salad once in a while. How can a 15 year old be that fat? Why doesn't he form a band with Ozzy's fatso kids?

Re: the reunion tour - I'm not sure who's more pathetic these days. After his disastrous radio stint, I was leaning more toward DLR. But upon reconsideration, I say that Eddie Van Halen wins hands-down for the following reasons: after 3 lead singers, he returns to the original lead singer fired some 20 years ago. Then, throw in the firing of a professional bassist/background singer (Michael Anthony) and replacing Anthony with EVH's son. Eddie - I have news for you. You and your group have been irrelevant since 1994. Nobody cares any more.

"There's nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster." - Dr. Evil