Good ones.

A man wlks into a bar with a crocodile and announces to all the patrons, "I am going to perform a feat so astounding, that if you are truly amazed, you will each by me a drink."

The crowd looked on as he struck the crocodile over the head with a beer bottle. The crocodile immediately opened its mouth whereupon the man dropped his pants, inserted his genitals into the gaping mouth, struck the crocodile on the head again, and the reptile closed its mouth.

The crowd gasped for thirty seconds, after which the man struck it on the head again and the mouth opened. Amid great applause the man was then lavished with drinks from around the bar. After a few drinks he stood up and announced, "I have a 100 dollar bill in my hand and will give it to any patron willing to do my trick!"

The crowd was silent. Finally a young woman stood up and said, "I'll try it...but don't hit me too hard with the bottle."