A man came home early from work one day and found his next-door neighbor in bed with his wife.

Quickly pulling a gun, he marched the naked fellow into the garage where he tightly secured the neighbor's private parts in the vise on the workbench. Still holding the gun to the man's head, he broke the handle off the vise with a crowbar. Putting the gun in his pocket, he then took out a very large hunting knife.

"Hey," yelled the neighbor in panic, "you're not gonna cut it off, are ya?"

"No," said the husband as he placed the knife on the workbench, "you are. I'm torching the garage."

Signor V.

"For me, there's only my wife..."

"Sure I cook with wine - sometimes I even add it to the food!"

"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?"

"It was a grass harp... And we listened."

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute?"

"No. Saints and poets, maybe... they do some."