i think it sounds plausible. i really can't find any reason as to why that story couldn't be true at all. it shows that fredo wasn't a complete idiot like he's made out to be sometimes, but it also shows that he wasn't really that smart either, which i think is the perfect description of fredo. it gives fredo a ruthlessness to kill his own brother, which some might say he didn't have, but it is possible given the
"i was passed over" scene. one thing that struck me was michael's swearing. that doesn't really seem to fit his cold, calculating character to me. but i have never read the novel, so if there michael uses language like that in the novel that doesn't show up on screen, then i apologize. i know you've admitted that writing dialogue isn't one of your strengths, so i don't mean to beat a dead horse. i certainly enjoy reading it and think you're doing a great job.