Three critics:

1) A very large part has been already seen in GF2
2) the parts that aren't don't fit.
3) It's not much of a story. Where's the danger? Where are the bad guys? It's like a soap opera which drives on the interhuman relationships: X gets married to Y, blabla...

I'll elaborate 2.

a) If the people who hide Vito came over to America, who visited Vito them in 19?? when he got rid of Ciccio
b) Maranzano did not deployed Fanucci. Maranzano let him work there. And Fanucci was a fraud.
c) Why would Maranzano cease his control over Little Italy after his collector is killed? He's as far as I know a big boy

So in short, it's a nice try, but I wouldn't advise you to charge in by FFC and present him your script.

Now how about some constructive critics? More suspense! Less scenes that are already known and perhaps another character. How about Antonio Andolini (hihi) or Vincent Corleone? Anthony perhaps, who changes his mind and a major fight between Anthony and Vincent?

These are all volatile ideas, and I don't intend on writing a script like you, Ricardo. But the main aspect of a good story is that it provokes that the audience asks questions.

In GF1: Shall the Don live? Is Michael coming in? Who shall be Don when Santino is dead? blabla
GF2: How did Vito become a Don? Who tried to assasinate Michael? What shall he do to Roth?
GF3: Who's gonna succeed Michael? Who killed all the Dons? Shall Michael be succesfull in taking over Immobiliare? Will he survice???

These are some of the questions I askes myself. A story should be a little mystery, of which the outcome isn't obvious. The outcome of your story we already know. We know many scenes and the action in between isn't that cunning/exciting/whatever.

Don't get mad, I'm only trying to help you.