Tommy to Sonny (I think his name is Sonny, the guy who asks Paulie to get in the restaurant business)

"I'm in jail! I can't stop people from coming to see me!"


"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis