I don’t know where to start and where to end. I am crushed. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. Plaw and I would chat online almost everday. (Good thing I can multitask). I would look forward to seeing “Good morning Bethie” pop up on my screen. What I wouldn’t give to see those 3 little words again. Or to have him bitch me out one more time for trading Jose Contreras to Don Sicilia. Now I don’t even want to log onto my computer.

I can only hope he just drifted off, and awoke somewhere in his own personal Field of Dreams. Everywhere he looked were the greats in sports that he grew up to and admired. He’d see Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, all his favorite Brooklyn Dodgers. He’ll walk past all of them and stroll up to another man and simply say: "Dad….wanna have a catch?"

People often wonder why I’m called Crabby. The first time I met plaw he called me Baltimore Crabcake. So now I will answer to this nickname with honor. I'm not a big basketball buff, but I will watch The Wizards, and everyone not living under a rock knows plaw is fanatic for The Nets. Last season plaw would follow each and every game and know the lineups and who would play whom in the playoffs. He kept telling me this scenario could happen, and this team has to beat this team, and The Nets might play The Wiz in the 1st round of the playoffs. He's telling this to me...someone who doesn't know my Zhi Zhi from my wang. As luck would have it they didn't play each other, but it would have been nice if it happened. I'll still follow The Wiz, but next season I'm adopting The Nets.

While there are people here who I cherish their friendships the place will not be the same for me here. There is a big void in my life. And an even bigger hole in my heart. I recall one conversation he had, which showed he still had his sense of humor. I asked how his mixture of meds was affecting him. He said he’s ok. But he just broke into his buddy’s house and stole his tv. I just joked back I hope it was a plasma. And if he ever gets that urge again to let me know, I could use another tv myself.

Whenever I watch a Frank Vincent movie I’ll think of him and smile. I hate it when people quote songs to remember someone, but I can’t get certain ones out of my head. While I hate the song, the phrase, “Don’t forget to remember me” from Carrie Underwood fits perfectly for me. I’ll always remember him, and will forever miss him. Another one just says it all for me. “I miss my friend”.

I miss my friend.

The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say
To make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend.

I miss the colors that you brought into my life
Your golden smile, those blue-green eyes
And I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now
Saying it'll be alright
I miss my friend.

Goodbye Plaw. I love ya. MWAH!!! {{{{{}}}}} My heart is in broken in a million pieces right now.