An alcoholic, a nymphomaniac, and a stoner all died and went up to Heaven. But when they got to the pearly gates, Saint Peter completely lost his temper.
He said, “I’m so sick and tired of all you sinners being allowed into Heaven just because you went to church every Sunday. So, here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to see if you really deserve to be in Heaven. I’m going to lock each of you in your own rooms with your favorite vice of choice. If you can stay in there for one full year without touching or indulging it, then I’ll consider you worthy and let you in.”
So, St. Peter set the alcoholic up in a room with a long bar that stretched as far as the eye can see, and all its shelves were stocked with the finest liquors ever made.
He then set the nympho up in a room that was full of gorgeous, sultry, flirtateous virgins. There was even a heart-shaped bed for them to romp in.
Lastly, the stoner was set up in a room that had a never-ending supply of the best marijuana, and all the rolling papers and pipes he needed to indulge.
Saint Peter then let an entire year go by. Afterwards, he decided it was time to check up on the three of them and see how everything is going.
He went to the alcoholic first. When he opened the door, the alcoholic was completely passed out on the floor, and every single drop of liquor had been drank. So St. Peter immediately sent the alcoholic straight to hell.
Next, St. Peter went to the nympho. As he opened the door he saw everyone lying about naked, completely exhausted from sex. There were stains on the bed, and sex toys strewn all over the room. So he immediately sent the nympho to hell.
Finally, he went to the stoners room, and as St. Peter opened the door, he noticed that the stoner was just sitting there quietly, sober and clear-eyed as he could be. Not a single weed of marijuana had been touched.
St. Peter was completely startled, exclaiming, “Oh my God. Of the three of you, you were the one I least expected to be able to succeed at their task. How did you do it?”
