Vito and Maria were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Vito was a very successful Mafia soldier who was both wealthy and influential, and he wanted to give his wife something extra special for this momentous occasion.
Vito said to his wife, "Maria, because of your unwavering support of me over the years I've was able to become as successful in my career as I have. So this year I wanna give your anything your heart desires. With my money and influence I can get you anything. Just say the word my dear and its yours!"
Maria commented back, "Vito, I would like just two things. First, please, just for a few days, please stop picking your nose, ok?"
Vito thought for a moment, and then said to her, "That's a very tricky thing Maria. I don't know that I can do that for you...But anyway, what is the second thing you'd like?"
Maria then says, "Please, just once, the next time we have sex, can I ride on top?"
Vito contemplates her second request for a moment, and then says back, "I'm so sorry baby, but I don't think I can give you either one of those things you ask."
Maria, surprised at his refusal, asks, "Why Vito? Why? These two things I ask for are so minor, they're such simple requests."
Vito then explains, "When I first started my career in the Mafia, I went to see The Don for such advice. The very first thing he told me was, "Make sure you always keep your nose clean!"
Maria then asks him what the second thing was.
Vito retorted, "He said, make sure you don't fuck up!!"
