Well first of all, you have to consider the traditions of the day. Most of the people we are talking about lived at a different time. Did the average Italian-American dad in the 1960's help Johnny with his math homework and coach little league? Some did but I think was rare.

Fathers at that time and culture were providers and enforcers first and foremost. A "bad father" back then was a guy who didnt work and didnt pay the bills no matter how many games of "catch" he played. In the generation before, men would have families and sometimes just walk away without a word. Sometimes they just had enough and went back to Italy or just started new families and left the first family to fend for themselves [ this was at a time with no welfare, no assistance, and no court mandated child support ]. My grandparent's parents had alot of stories like that and my mother's grandmother actually had her husband walk out and start a new family. He never even acknowledged his previous children. He didnt even leave the neighborhood! He just walked out and pretended not to know them.

So by the 1950's and 1960's if you were a man who stayed, paid the bills, and acknowledged/provided for your children...you were a pretty good father, even if you whacked your wife and kids around a little bit that was just not considered such a big deal like it is today.

My Grandfather was a Bonanno captain, pretty high rank. He spent alot of years in prison, he whacked my father around, everyone was afraid of him. He even whacked me around a couple of times, alot of men from that time were like that. But he supported his family, he stayed put, he guided his children away from the streets and into legitimate business. He paid for private education, he insisted on college for them.

By today's whacked out standards you'd say he was 'an abuser', but in reality I'd consider him a decent father for the time and culture. He was a hard man, you could easily hate him. But you'd respect him and he took care of his responsibilities.