First of all, thanks to SC for motivating me to address this. Because I've been kinda short tempered these past few months, and I owe some of you an apology, and all of you an explanation.

My Dad, who's almost 85, developed a hernia earlier this year, and there are some complications because of where it's situated. Anyway, he's lived up in Eastchester in his own condominium since my Mom passed away. He's the most self-sufficient senior you'll ever meet, which makes this all the more difficult to deal with. Because in his current state, he was forced to move in with us until they can do the surgery, which takes place the first week of September (thank God). And it's really taking its toll on me because this is a guy was was still WALKING the golf course in Boca this past winter. He's short tempered and angry because of all this, and dealing with it is making me a grouch myself. Eh, who am I kidding? More than a grouch, I've been a real asshole. On these boards and in "real life."

Point is, it's a lot on my plate, and I'm sorry for being such a jerk lately. I'm home more than I have been in years because I don't like to leave him alone, and because of that I'm on the silly Internet more than I've ever been in my entire life. That's half the problem.

Anyway, it's no excuse for the way I've been behaving lately. Just a little bit of an explanation .

PB, Thank you for sharing that, its always difficult when we watch our loved ones struggle. Hang in there!!!

Fortunately, both of my parents lived into their mid-80s and were relatively healthy until just days before they died. Thank God that my sisters were there for them; living in Texas I was unable to attend them those last few days. That is one of my regrets.

Being a jerk can be occasioned by many things; PB, even if you have been from time to time, your travails are understandable as a reason.

PB you haven't been a jerk pal. You have been on point and informative in your post. Some people on here tweak you but what do you expect from a Mafia forum? If some ones feelings get hurt maybe they should post on , MY QUILTING BEE.com
You are entitled to your opinions just keep them within the rules of the board. SC is wise and does do a great job Moderating these boards. If someone gets to you, remember to say. "A bigger fool is the one who argues with the one who thinks he know it all!"
Prayers going up for your father and we wish him the very best on his upcoming surgery.

Don't be gun shy PB. When you're right you're right and when you're wrong, well, we will have to tell you and in the end if we still don't agree, then we will just have to agree to disagree!

PB, you are experiencing the burden that many of us middle age + people go through; caring for and assisting our aging parents. Thanks to modern-day medical care our parents are living longer and living healthy longer and then one day - POW - they need our help, love, care, support, comfort, compassion and shoulder. It takes many forms. Maybe its Alzheimer's, maybe a broken hip, pneumonia, phlebitis, financial, or just plain loneliness. My Dad had a stroke at 59 and died at 64. My Mom had to take care of him and they did great for those 5 years, but us kids had to be there as support. Then my Mom was alone. She did great for many years until Alzheimer's caught up to her. That was a tough two years.

In all of this we have to consider the dignity of the individual. They deserve our respect, love and care. It can be an emotional burden and a psychological strain. Hang tough my friend. Approach it with humor, humility and compassion. And I believe you are a man of faith, the Lord can ease the burden. Peace.

One of the best things about a message board like this one is you get to know people after a while and you get to take an interest in their lives. I always enjoy hearing your stories of what you and your dad do (mostly the golf ones). It's quite evident to all how close you are with your father, and it's heartwarming.

We'll set up a prayer thread for him for his surgery, and then while he's recuperating we'll loot your apartment.

Hang in there, and next spring you'll be arguing over how many strokes he'll give ya on the front nine.

Thanks, everyone. For the first time in a long time, I have no words.

But you all know that won't last .

Sorry to hear all that your going through, it must be tough on you right now.....You just have to keep a level head for the sake of your Dad and Family....Even if you just go out of the house to take a walk or go down to the local cafe for an espresso(with a little Sambuca) and a biscotti for an hour or so just to clear your head when you get stressed out like that...In the end you know everything will work out for the best...My blessings go out to you and yours...Take care pal!

I've gotten to know a bit about your father through you, PB. I'm sure he'll pull through and be his usual spry self when this is over. Meanwhile, it took courage for you to post your feelings and your apology.

Pizzaboy, very sorry to hear about your father. There will be a lot of forum members praying for his total recovery. You don't owe anyone an apology. In the short time I've been a member here you always seem to have knowledgeble and informative posts and contribute a lot of good and credible information for which we all thank you. We know it is difficult to deal with a loved one in distress, so just keep up your good work

Hang in there PB. I also have a lot on my plate with my elderly and demanding mother so I know what you are going through. As for the being grouchy ,you are never grouchy with me so I have no complaints

For some reason, I'm envisioning Larry David and his tv father from "Curb." Hopefully your dad won't have the porn channel volume turned up to 10 the next time you come home like Larry's dad.

Seriously, I echo everyone else's well wishes for your dad. I'm sure he appreciates having a son who cares so much.

I'll make this short and sweet because I don't like posting personal things. But my Dad's surgery was this morning and it was as routine and successful as the doctors promised me it would be. He's in a private room and coming home with us tomorrow. He should be able to start splitting his time again (between our house and his condo) within a month.

I just wanted to thank everyone here for their support, pms, emails and phone calls. And hopefully I'll be a little less cranky now that this is finally over with. So thanks again .

(The smiley is for Carmela, she knows why ).

Glad to hear he's better PB

Good to hear everything went well....As far as the cranky part goes, nuttin's gonna change there J/k

Glad to hear that, pb! You two will be out on the course in no time (and he'll only have to give you 18 strokes).

Great news. Enjoy your time with him as much as you can

Thanks, guys. He's already acting silly. And if you knew him, you'd know it's a good sign.

The first thing he asked the nurse was if he could keep the hernia. Like a kid with tonsils. But he did it with a straight face, so the poor kid actually tried to explain to him that they don't actually remove it, they pretty much just put it back where it belongs. So the old coot starts in with the mock outrage. You mean they just stick the f'n thing back inside of me? Where's the doctor!?!?

Then he broke out laughing, so the nurse was off the hook. But you have to realize that he has a very warped sense of humor about getting old. He thinks it's funny to feign forgetfulness. I remember one time I drove him to the library to pick up one of his old cowboy dvds. He walks up to the librarian and asks her with a straight but confused face which aisle the canned goods were in. The poor girl. True story .

Glad to hear the good news about your dad PB. Now I know where you inherited those smiling faces from.

I'm so glad to hear the great new PB. Your Pops is a character.

PB - Great to hear about your pops. I told you so
Apologies are not necessary as you are a great member, poster and a good guy. Hang in there and just take it slow with him. Time and a gradual ease into normal routine is the ticket to a full recovery.

You've always been a jerk so I'm not sure where people think it just started?

I'm very happy to hear that your father is doing better. He sounds like quite a character! That story about asking the librarian where the canned goods are is hilarious!

That's 0 for 2 for me today.

Really glad to hear things went well and are looking up.... My grandma has to take care of her daughter (my aunt) who has servere ms and can't talk and literally is bed ridden.. Then about a year or 2 about her husband (my grandfather) got serious dementia.. Like really bad.. I give my grandma so much respect for having to literally take care of both of them every single day. Its not easy task. Its actually a nightmare.. I don't know how she hasn't gone insane yet.. Anyways several days a week I go out to her house and watch my granpa and aunt for her so she can get out of the house and away from the madness.. Its a rough job for me to even handle but I think its a must that my grandma gets to get away from it and go out to the movies with my mother or go on walks to get her mind off it it for a few hours..she's a strong lady and I give her a lot of credit cause after a day of dealing with it I'm burnt out. Feel its the least I can do though to help out my grandma she's a great lady.

Dsbaloo,

My Aunt had to eventually put her husband in a home when he got Parkinson's and dementia. He would roam outside at night and walk down the street and where they lived there was hardly anyone around. What made it so hard was that he was about 6'4" and 250 when this started and she is about 5'1" and 100 soaking wet. He would get semi violent with her too so they finally put him in a home where he gave up and was about 120lbs. when he died. That crap is not something anyone should go through honestly but sadly we all have that someone we have to take care of eventually.

kind of crazy I mentioned my grandfather in this thread out of nowhere... turns out he passed a few days ago on the 25th.... he was 90 so he lived a long great life... but im absolutely devastated for my grandma... what she must be feeling and going through I cant even begin to imagine.. they were married for something like 60 years...imagine losing a life partner of that long...
to help her cope a bit I've decided to move in with my grandma for a few months once shes done with all the funeral and death stuff... figured she could use the company and not be left in her home alone thinking about it...going to bring over my sopranos box set so we can watch it since she loves it ahaha.. but damn yeah..... rough times... I feel for you pizzaboy.

dsbaloo me and my wife have only been married 4 years and she left me back in July and we are in the process of getting back together (according to her). I was devastated to say the least so I couldn't imagine being with her for 60 years and losing her.

My Uncle died back in 07 about 3 months after his wife died and they were married over 50 years. She battled breast cancer until it spread to her brain and finally took her at home with him by her side fighting emphysema in which it should have killed him years before except he fought it to take care of her until she went then he just gave up. It was the most heart breaking thing in the world to see him say he wanted to die so he could be with her again. I just hope to have half the love they had with my wife before we die.

Your Grandma loves The Sopranos? That's freaking awesome dude. I never had a Grandma, my Mom's mother died giving birth to my Mom and my Dad's Mom died in her sleep about 6 years before my birth. All I had was one Grandfather that we lived an hour from so I never got to enjoy the spoils of being a Grandson. I always gripe at friends that take theirs for granted because they've always been around because I never had that. Be sure to take care of your Grandma.

I'm sorry to hear about your Gramps, Buddy. He sounds like he had a full life, though. If you need anything, you know where to find me.

Meanwhile, take care of your Grandma .