Give us advice, tips, and tricks about life and all sorts of random stuff.

- Don't eat yellow snow

- I think carrying a pen around at all times is a good idea for when you get good ideas.

- Eat toast upside down

- Carry your wallet in your front pocket

Patience, and control your emotions.

Don't get high on your own supply

1, You don't tug on Superman's cape,
2. You don't spit into the wind
3. You don't pull the mask off that ol' Lone Ranger
4. you don't mess around with Jim."




TIS

You never EVER cut in a breakfast buffet line before TIS!

Hairspray gets out ink and lipstick stains.

Unless you want to go blind, don't play catch with Geoff.

Don't take any wooden nickels.

Don't trust whitey.

Leave well enough alone.

Let a sleeping dog ly.

Always wear clean underwear.

Don't go hunting with Dick Cheney.

For canker sores: Mix warm water with a couple teaspoons (or more) of baking soda and gargle. Do this a couple times a day and you'll see a huge difference in 24 hours. It tastes salty, but it works.



TIS

Put warm groundhog grease in your ears for earaches.

For real Mig?? I don't know nothing about that, so I'll believe you. Just where in the hell would I get a groundhog? Ha ha...not quite sure I'd know one if I saw one, let alone where to find the grease.



TIS

For real TIS. It's one of those mountain remedies. When you fry up the groundhog meat you just save the grease. I swear this is the best for an earache.

Yeah it causes deafness as a side effect though

You'll get an urge to come out of your hole every February 2nd.

Ever have a "dent" in your carpet from some heavy furniture being on it. It looks ugly when you move the furniture. Just put an ice cube in the indentation. Wait for it to melt. Once it does, blot up the water with some paper towels. The indentation should disappear.

Also, to get gum out of a rug - freeze it; put an ice cube on it and when the gum hardens sufficiently, you should be able to remove it from the rug without leaving a mess.

Don't eat Cheetos and masturbate afterwards, or else your "thing" will turn orange.

If you're going to cheat on your Girlfriend, remember to remove the condom before you get home. You don't want to jump in the shower with her the next morning and have the rubber fall off onto the floor.

Oh my God! That's it? And to think of all the money I spent on doctors trying to find out why.

Don't get muscle relievers like Ben Gay or Flexall 454 anywhere near your privates. Same with hot peppers. Seriously.

I'm afraid to ask how you know this.

Maybe I should've just said, be sure to wash your hands after using such products...

OK - true story. My parents went to some famous Chinese/Polynesian restaurant in Manhattan for their anniversary. My mother didn't notice that there was gum on the chair when she sat down. When they tried to leave, she was literally stuck to the chair. She finally got up and there was this HUGE wad of gum stuck to her behind. They were supposed to go to a Broadway show afterwards, so my mom was freaking out about what to do.

The maitre d' came running over and told her that he could put ice on the gum, it would freeze, and he could just pull it right off.

So, there's my mother in the bar with a strange Chinese man rubbing ice on her ass. He pulls on the gum and RIP, tears this gigantic hole in her dress. She was wearing a black dress with a beige slip under it, and they still had to walk to the theater. She wrapped her fur stole around her waist and had to go like that.

Or BEFORE touching your privates.

Since you never know when you're going to touch your privates, I'd go with Geoff's advice!

Too late now JG. That'll be added to your file.

Very true, because it's an almost constant thing!

More so for men.

God, how sexist! When will we men ever be able to cast off the cloak of second class citizenship and be respected for our minds?

Who says?

If you want to get candle wax out of your carpet place a white towel over the wax and go back and forth over the towel a couple times with a hot iron the wax come right out of the carpet and onto the towel.