A: Kramer to Elaine & Jerry about fantasy baseball camp

Q: "You go through painstaking efforts to hide your nipple and suddenly hundreds of people get their own personal shot of it."

A: George to Elaine
Q: Malaysia. I was in the area.

You had mine reversed. It was Elaine speaking.

A: Elaine to Jake Jarmel

Q: "Yes. I just got a call. I yell 'Cartwright.' Just like that. Nobody came up. I hang up."

Chinese restaurant host to George

Q: "You don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle"

A: Kramer to his Brandt-Leyland co-workers

Q: "Oh, you're getting together with some of your jackass friends and you want me to take notes?"

A: Elaine to Kramer
Q: Whew! Anybody see that poster in there? That is weird, wild stuff, huh? Whew!

A: George to the party guests after he took off his shirt while going to the bathroom.

Q: "Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise."

A: Jerry to George
Q: Ah, Rochelle, Rochelle. "A young girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk"

A: That was said a few times. One was by Susan to George. Another was the video checkout guy to George. Another was the restaurant guy who was checking out the smelly valet odor. Restaurant guy said it to George & Jerry.

Q: "Then Mr. Seinfeld went to the restroom, at which point Mr. Costanza scooped ice out of Mr. Seinfeld's drink with his bare hands using it to wash up. Then Mr. Costanza remarked to me, 'this never happened.'"

A: Kramer's intern (Darrin maybe?) to Kramer, Jerry, George
Q: Yes it is. She just took credit for my salad. That's not right.

A: George to Jerry

Q: "So I sped home to save my friend's life and I was stopped for speeding. Yes I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved and to be a banker."

A: Newman in court about "saving Kramer from suicide"
Q: For $50? I'd put my face in the soup and blow

A: George to Elaine & Jerry in the Chinese restaurant

Q: "Did that cigarette warning label mention anything about damage to your appearance? So you're a victim. Now your face is shallow, unattractive, disgusting."

A: Jackie to Kramer
Q: The only thing between us is a thin layer of gabardine

A: Jerry to Elaine & Kramer about the K-man going "commando" (Friends reference)

Q: "It failed here! Because here, every time you turn on a TV, all you see is four morons sitting round an apartment, whining about their dates!"

A: George to Jerry
Q: Matthew, Luke, Paul, what you're cheating on your conversion chest?

A: Jerry to George

Q: "Number one. Take her leg.... Oh, my god! Crib notes? You've got crib notes?!!

A: Nancy to George
Q: He was uncomfortable because it was our first time so he felt he would perform better if we did it in the kitchen. He said the kitchen is always the most sociable room in the house. And he was serious.

A: Cynthia to Elaine

Q: It's a perfectly legitimate business

A: Kramer to Jerry about bootlegging movies
Q: Excuse me, sweetheart? I think you may have overcharged us. What is this?

A: George to the waitress at Monk's

Q: "I haven't seen four women like this together outside of a Russ Meyer film."

A: Jerry to Elaine
Q: Oh, can you? That's funny, because, as it happens, I don't have call-waiting. Seems to me that the phone company
would know that.

A: Kramer to McNabb, the Plaza Cable guy.

Q: "Hey! See these? Cinqo de Mayo! Sales commission, bye-bye-o!"

A: Elaine to Glady
Q: No. Pizza man was here. Maybe some fall off. He's going bald.

A: Wow, that was a rare one b/w two non-regular characters. Gino to Enzo the barber.

Q: "Well, to get right to it, we're having a bit of a problem with Barry - the chimpanzee. He's not functioning the way he normally does. He seems depressed. He's lost his appetite. He's even curtailed his auto-erotic activities."

I like to mix things up and keep you on your toes

A: Kramer to Mr. Pless
Q: Okay, THAT'S IT! "oki on awa" Where's my tail? I heard every word you said. You got some nerve.

A: Frank to the Korean beauty shop workers

Q: "Cancel! Think again, Longshanks! I started planning this 1978. I put a deposit down on that revolving restaurant that overlooks Times Square, and I booked Christopher Cross."

A: Newman to Kramer
Q: Yeah. There ya go. That's Beef-A-Reeno. I'm so keen-o
On Beef-A-Reeno
What a delicious cuisine-o
Fit for a king and queen-o!
Yeah. Eat up. I got thirty four more cans.

A: Kramer to Rusty the horse

Q: "Merlot? I never heard of it. Did they just invent it?"

A: Estelle to Mrs. Ross
Q: You're returning used fruit?