A: Vet to Elaine

Q: Maybe the test was gender-biased. You know, a lot of questions about hunting and testicles.

A: Jerry to Elaine about her failing George's test.

Q: Woa woa woa, the inspector of the library's name is Bookman? That's like an ice cream man named Cone!

Kramer to Jerry, George, Marian

Q: "Look at these boys. If they were any more
Cuban, Castro would've smoked them himself."

Kramer to Jerry, George, Marian

Q: "Look at these boys. If they were any more
Cuban, Castro would've smoked them himself."

A: Kramer to the business tycoon named Earle.

Q: Uh, what kind of man are you? Well, you're weak, spineless, a man of temptations, but what tempts you? Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master, the cocoa bean.

Kramer to George (Bosco )

Q: "Oh, that's interesting, because as everyone knows, since there was no year zero, the millennium doesn't begin until the year two-thousand and one. Which would make your party, one year late, and thus, quite lame."

A: Jerry to Newman about the "Newmanium"

Q: You were having sex on our bed?! Who told you you could have sex in our bed? Your bed is too small? I'm gone two weeks and you turn our house into, into Bourbon Street!

A: Frank to George
Q: We can't show up with Pepsi and Ding Dong's to a party

A: actually it's "ring dings" not ding dongs. But it's Elaine to George.

Q: letting my emotions out was the best thing I've ever done. Sure I'm not funny anymore, but there's more to life than making shallow, fairly-obvious observations. How about you?

Jerry to George
"How do I put this....you've been in her bed"

Jerry to George
"How do I put this....you've been in her bed"

A: Elaine's boyfriend (can't remember his name) to Kramer (that episode was on TBS tonight)
Q: Oh it's a scene man

A: Jerry to George, when Jerry's girlfriend & roommate agreed to the menage a tois.

Q: You tell your friend George that if he keeps calling here, I'm going to make him my own personal hand puppet.

A: Black waiter or owner at Monk's to Jerry & Elaine
Q: Ah, $8,000. It's a Honda!

How about a hint Irishman?

Is it when Jerry was returning the rental car that he let George borrow?

A: George to Jerry & Elaine after he made money keeping his stock when Jerry dropped out of it
Q: I'm on no sleep, NO sleep. You don't know what it's like over there. All night long things are creaking & cracking and that red light is frying my brain!

A: Jerry, when he was living in Kramer's apartment with the Kenny Rogers Roaster's sign.

Q: Yesterday, I'm a volcano. I try one more call, the machine comes on, and I let fly like Mussolini from the balcony. "Where the hell do you get the nerve? You invite me up for coffee and then you don't call me back for four days?! I don't like coffee! I don't have to come up! I'd like to get one more shot at the coffee just so I cans spit in your face!"

A: George to Jerry after his girlfriend is out of town & couldn't return his phone calls
Q: Of course I'm concerned, I'm paying for those meals!

A: George to Elaine & Jerry, about George's skinny girlfriend who ate like a horse.

Q: I'm like ice buddy. If I don't like you, you've got problems.

A: Kramer to Jerry about why it is bad for George and Elaine to get on his bad side in "The Parking Space."

Q: "Wait a second. Mr. Pennypacker, if you're here, and Mr. Vandelay is also here, then who's watching the factory?"

A: Jerry to George & Kramer about who is watching the car in the Puerto Rican Day parade.

Q: Male mammal. Approximately 30 to 60 years of age. Weight...uh indeterminate.

A: Kramer as Dr. Van Nostrand examining Kruger in "The Slicer."

Q: "When you're shopping on Madison Avenue, you don't want to skimp on the swank."

A: Kramer to Elaine when they were shopping together and he was using the skin creme. (One of all-time favorite Kramer lines)

Q: I didn't get the transfer.. They knew it wasn't me doing my route! Too many people got their mail! Close to 80%. Nobody from the post office has ever cracked the 50% barrier! It's like the 3-minute mile!

A: Newman to Jerry in "The Andrea Doria" after Jerry delivered the mail for Newman to help him get transferred to Hawaii. I love the scene where Jerry is walking down the street delivering mail.

Q: "She's not a maid. She might be a news woman!"

A: Seinfeld to Elaine about the maid/call-girl he hired/dated

Q: Well, there's nothing more sophisticated than diddling the maid and chewing some gum.

Elane to Jerry
"Well, thats peculiar"

A: Kramer to Jake Jarmel

Q: Oh, no. No. No. No. No. Nothing. I'm fine. Everything's fine. Fine. Just get a little nervous on the weekends, that's all. Could I, uh, could I get a glass of water?

A: George, waiting for Kramer and Rusty to arrive and pick up Mr. and Mrs. Ross is "The Rye."

Q: "You've never felt remorse."

A: Elaine to Jerry about how Jerry never shows emotion.

Q: Jackie's cashin' in on your wretched disfigurement.

A: Jackie to Kramer
Q: This is Morning Mist