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SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23278
04/04/05 12:48 PM
04/04/05 12:48 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars
dontomasso  Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
Some wag made the comment that one of the shortest books that could be written would be
"The Wit of Michael Corleone," which got me to thinking of other possible shortest books in history related to the Godfather.

Some of them would be:

1. Happy Childhood Memories by Anthony Corleone.

2. Favorite Party Pranks by Luca Brasi.

3. Ways To Make It Big -- On Your Own by Fredo
Corleone.

4. The Art of Negotiation by Moe Green and Joey Zasa.

5. Secret Beauty Tips by Mary Corleone.

6. The Joys of Marriage by Carlo Rizzi.

Other suggestions are welcome!


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23279
04/04/05 01:01 PM
04/04/05 01:01 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,098
Existential Well
svsg Offline
Underboss
svsg  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,098
Existential Well
Work for a new boss - Tessio
Fishing in Lake Tahoe - Fredo

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23280
04/04/05 01:09 PM
04/04/05 01:09 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 4,046
Miami, FL
Don Andrew Offline
Underboss
Don Andrew  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 4,046
Miami, FL
It may be dumb but,
Making Offers They Could Refuse - Vito Corleone
Things in Life I don't regret - Michael Corleone
Hapiness being married to the Mob - Kay Adams.
I'm Smart - Fredo Corleone
Keeping Cool : Anger Management for dummies - Santino Corleone


Hey, how's it going?
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23281
04/04/05 04:27 PM
04/04/05 04:27 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 319
Providence, RI
M
Moscarelli Offline
Capo
Moscarelli  Offline
M
Capo
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 319
Providence, RI
Incest is Best
by Mary Corleone

Choosing the Right Husband
by Kay Adams

How to Aim a Pistol
by Mosca

The Art of Pears
by Carmella Corleone

A Night at the Opera with Michael Corleone
by Michael Corleone

Games to Play with Your Grandson
by Vito Corleone


I know, I know, their kind of stupid, but, hey, I'm bored.


"The toe you stepped on yesterday may be attached to the ass you have to kiss today."
-Former Mayor of Providence, RI, Vincent "Buddy" Cianci
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23282
04/04/05 04:56 PM
04/04/05 04:56 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 248
NY
Darulerric Offline
Made Member
Darulerric  Offline
Made Member
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 248
NY
Taking things personal-Tom Hagen
Usefullness of a bullet proof vest- Luca Brasi
How to treat the daughter/sister of a Don- Carlo
Mastering an Italian Accent- Senator Geary
How to maintain a solid relationship- Micheal
Minding your own business- Kay adams

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23283
04/04/05 04:57 PM
04/04/05 04:57 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 6,762
Anytown, USA
goombah Offline
goombah  Offline

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 6,762
Anytown, USA
"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" by Michael Corleone

"How to Find Out if There's Something in it for Me: for Dummies" by Fredo Corleone

"Hygiene for Your Back Hair" by Sonny, Vincent, Hyman Roth & Moe Green

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" by Mama Corleone

"Being the Perfect Husband" by Carlo Rizzi

"The Idiots Guide to Dieting" by Peter Clemenza

"Understanding Your Adversary" by Jack Woltz

"Wartime Consligieri Stories" by Tom Hagen

"How to Catch More Fish Than You Can Eat with a Bullet-Proof Vest" by Luca Brasi

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23284
04/05/05 08:59 AM
04/05/05 08:59 AM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
plawrence Offline
RIP StatMan
plawrence  Offline
RIP StatMan
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
"Different Routes from Long Beach To Manhattan" -- Sonny Corleone

"My English Dictionary" -- Buscetta


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23285
04/05/05 09:10 AM
04/05/05 09:10 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars
dontomasso  Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
The Joys of Driving -- Apollonia Corleone


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23286
04/05/05 09:19 AM
04/05/05 09:19 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
Beth E Offline
Crabby
Beth E  Offline
Crabby

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,900
Nipple piercing - Appollonia Corleone


How about a little less questions and a lot more shut the hell up - Brian Griffin

When there's a will...put me in it.
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23287
04/05/05 09:55 AM
04/05/05 09:55 AM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 19,513
AZ
Turnbull Offline
Turnbull  Offline

Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 19,513
AZ
"Welcoming Diversity in the Workplace" by Frank Pentangeli.
"Don't Let 'The Other Fellow' Rule You" by Pat Geary.
"Quick Foreign Get-Aways" by Fulgencio Batista.
"A Short Course in the Papacy" by Cardinal Lamberto.


Ntra la porta tua lu sangu � sparsu,
E nun me mporta si ce muoru accisu...
E s'iddu muoru e vaju mparadisu
Si nun ce truovo a ttia, mancu ce trasu.
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23288
04/05/05 11:57 AM
04/05/05 11:57 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars
dontomasso  Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
"The Ethical Cop" by Captain McCluskey

"Chastity After Widowhood" by Connie Corleone

"Work Hard, Get Rich" by Merle

"Successful Racehorse Breeding" by Mr. Woltz


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23289
04/05/05 03:52 PM
04/05/05 03:52 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 6,762
Anytown, USA
goombah Offline
goombah  Offline

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 6,762
Anytown, USA
"Empathy" by Michael Corleone

"Animal Headboards" by Jack Woltz

"Older Women" by Jack Woltz

"Foresight" by Fredo Corleone

"Staying Faithful to My Wife" by Sonny Corleone

"Being Honest in Business Dealings" by Hyman Roth

"Clean Living and Fidelity" by Deanna Dunn

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23290
04/05/05 03:59 PM
04/05/05 03:59 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars
dontomasso  Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
"Civics" by Sen. Geary


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23291
04/07/05 10:41 AM
04/07/05 10:41 AM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
plawrence Offline
RIP StatMan
plawrence  Offline
RIP StatMan
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 15,058
The Slippery Slope
"My Photograph Album" by Emilio Barzini

"How I Stopped Smoking" by Archbishop Gliday


"Difficult....not impossible"
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23292
04/07/05 11:39 AM
04/07/05 11:39 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars
dontomasso  Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
"The Age of Feminism" by Mama Corleone

"Choosing Sides" by Moe Green


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23293
04/07/05 12:10 PM
04/07/05 12:10 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,733
JustMe Offline
Underboss
JustMe  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,733
Quote
Originally posted by plawrence:
"My Photograph Album" by Emilio Barzini
Great one! lol
"Things I don't know about Mafia" by Turnbull.
"A good wife for a Sicilian Mafioso" by Kay.
"The art of long successful marriage" by Apollonia
"How to rise a smart son and a virtuous daughter" by Michael.


keep your mouth shut, and your eyes open.
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23294
04/09/05 03:52 PM
04/09/05 03:52 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars
dontomasso  Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
Respect For Photographers - By Don Barzini and Sonny Corleone


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23295
04/09/05 04:11 PM
04/09/05 04:11 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 18,238
The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi Offline
Caporegime
Don Cardi  Offline
Caporegime

Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 18,238
The Ravenite Social Club
"How to make Cannolis" by Peter Clemenza

" Homeland Security" by Salvatore Tessio


Don Cardi cool



Don Cardi cool

Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.




Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23296
04/09/05 05:13 PM
04/09/05 05:13 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 709
Northern NJ
Daigo Mick Friend Offline
Underboss
Daigo Mick Friend  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 709
Northern NJ
"How to get A Head in the Stud Business" Kartoun

"Visits with my Daughters Godmother" Bonasera

"How to be a Tough Guy" Enzo

"Great Moments in Public Speaking" Luca Brasi

"How to Make Friends and Influence People" The Turk

" My Greatest Achievments in Sports" Hyman Roth

"Cocktail Party Manners" Frankie Five Angels


"Francis can I have a momment"
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23297
04/10/05 12:25 AM
04/10/05 12:25 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 122
NJ transplant in Wisconsin
Johnny Stiltz Offline
Made Member
Johnny Stiltz  Offline
Made Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 122
NJ transplant in Wisconsin
"How i made Mr Ed a star" Jack Woltz

"365 positions or Once a day " Sonny Corleone

Cooking with Oranges-Vito,Michael,Sonny,Fredo and MAMA Corleone orange orange

Cooking with Clamenza-unknown


Johnny Stiltz
"Take the gun leave the canolis with me "
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23298
04/10/05 06:53 AM
04/10/05 06:53 AM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,733
JustMe Offline
Underboss
JustMe  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,733
"How to get Michael Corleone indicted" by the members of senate committee.
"How to back up" by Kay wink
"What women want" by Fredo


keep your mouth shut, and your eyes open.
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23299
04/10/05 10:06 AM
04/10/05 10:06 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 232
London
Tony Kyprianou Offline
Made Member
Tony Kyprianou  Offline
Made Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 232
London
Quote
Originally posted by Junior:
Incest is Best
lol! lol lol


There's a raging fire in my heart tonight, burning higher and higher in my soul...
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23300
04/11/05 09:03 AM
04/11/05 09:03 AM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 6,762
Anytown, USA
goombah Offline
goombah  Offline

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 6,762
Anytown, USA
"I'm Smaht: the inside story of my accomplishments in the Corleone Family" by Fredo Corleone

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23301
04/11/05 09:24 AM
04/11/05 09:24 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars
dontomasso  Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
My Legal Opinions - by Anthony Corleone

Operas I Have Seen - by Mary Corleone

Staying One Step Ahead of Your Spouse - by Mrs. Hyman Roth


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23302
04/16/05 04:16 PM
04/16/05 04:16 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 133
Netherlands
Don Schulini Offline
Made Member
Don Schulini  Offline
Made Member
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 133
Netherlands
Taking a piss without it hurting - Hyman Roth

How to build a good relationship with your son's godfather - Carlo Rizzi

Being the dance-judge - Paulie Gatto

"Sex before marriage" - Appolonia

Having a one person dinner - Peter Clemenza

Opening doors - Sr. Roberto


"You never wanted my friendship, you don't ask with respect.."
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23303
04/16/05 06:00 PM
04/16/05 06:00 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512
Right here, but I'd rather be ...
long_lost_corleone Offline
Underboss
long_lost_corleone  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512
Right here, but I'd rather be ...
How to Beat Traffic By Santino Corleone


"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23304
04/17/05 03:35 AM
04/17/05 03:35 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512
Right here, but I'd rather be ...
long_lost_corleone Offline
Underboss
long_lost_corleone  Offline
Underboss
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512
Right here, but I'd rather be ...
Over-Coming Your Speech Impediment By Vito Corleone


I'm having way too much fun with this... tongue


"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23305
04/17/05 10:58 AM
04/17/05 10:58 AM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,453
California
X
XDCX Offline
XDCX  Offline
X

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,453
California
"How to Muscle Michael Corleone" by Pat Geary

"Afternoons with Vito" by Don Ciccio


"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis



Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23306
04/18/05 09:04 AM
04/18/05 09:04 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars
dontomasso  Offline OP
Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
"The Long Beach Diet" by Peter Clemenza.

"Making the Smart Move" by Tessio.

"Love Thine Enemies, And Other Tenets of My Catholic Faith" by Michael Corleone, Order of St. Sebastian.

"Feminism" by Mama Corleone.

"Not Looking Ridiculous" by Jack Woltz

"Ettiquette" by Deanna Corleone


"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"

"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."

"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."

Re: SHORTEST BOOKS EVER WRITTEN #23307
04/18/05 11:50 PM
04/18/05 11:50 PM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,453
California
X
XDCX Offline
XDCX  Offline
X

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,453
California
"My Cousin Vinnie" by Mary Corleone grin (ok, it wouldn't be a short story, but I had to mention it!)


"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis



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