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My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207085
10/20/02 09:51 PM
10/20/02 09:51 PM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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I'm gonna give outlining a possible GF4 a try! Actually, this isn't really a Part IV, it's more a rewrite of Part III, how I would like to see it. Tell me what you think.

*My dad (a dedicated Godfather fan himself) and I came up with most of the ideas here. Neither of us like Part III, especially Michael's character in that movie. He's so cool in Parts I and II... (I just felt that my dad deserved being mentioned since he really helped me with this.)

This is just the beginning! If anyone likes this I'll continue...

We begin in a very dark office, so dark that we can only make out the outlines of two figures. One sits behind a desk. The other, a very large man, sits in a chair.

Someone speaks in a heavy Russian accent, "You will regret this decision, Don Corleone."

A very impressive funeral. Members of the Corleone family stand in a graveyard, all wearing black. It's raining heavily. We see Neri, Vincent Mancini, Connie, etc. Everyone looks sad and/or destraught except for Michael (Hah! And I'll bet you thought it was his funeral! ) He stands in the middle of the crowd, arms around a hysterical Thereasa Hagen. Connie stands as far away from him as possible, fixing her brother with a stare of pure hatred. Vincent Mancini puts a hand on her shoulder. Connie smiles a little. The funeral service begins. We are here today to bury Mr. Thomas Hagen...

Later, as everyone is leaving the funeral, Connie walks over to Michael and slaps him across the face. "Bastard!" she snarls. "Are you satisfied now? You've killed everyone! Damn you, you've killed everyone!" She starts crying. "I hope you roast in hell! Bastard! Evil bastard..."

Two women and Vincent Mancini come and lead Connie away. She's still crying and cursing. Thereasa lifts her head and looks up at Michael... terrified.


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207086
10/21/02 06:04 AM
10/21/02 06:04 AM
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JohnnyC Offline
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I like it, but in a perfect world, Hagen WOULD have had some scenes in GIII. Perhaps this could have been the dramatic opening, followed by at least one good flashback of Hagen's supposed murder. Also if Hagen has been murdered my Michael, perhaps it's his sons that take on the Vincent Mancini-esque part. First as the willing student, then as the determined avenger. (I suppose he couldn't be a priest anymore)But anyways, I did enjoy what you and your Dad dreamed up!!
Tu Salude


I hope they will have the decency to clear my name with the same publicity with which they have now besmirched it.
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207087
10/21/02 06:49 AM
10/21/02 06:49 AM
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Tom'll have plenty of scenes... everything gets really 'flashbacky' (if that's a word) for a while. Michael didn't kill him either... I'll write some more.


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207088
10/21/02 08:45 AM
10/21/02 08:45 AM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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I'm gonna try to squeeze in a new scene before I have to go to class. Damned education...

"If I have learned one thing it is that there is a time and a place for everything, as such, with time comes change. Evolution is a necessity." -Memoirs of Michael Corleone*

Scene Two: Early in the morning, Michael's asleep. Neri enters and tells him that Andrew Hagen wants to speak to him before he returns to Rome. Andrew Hagen enters and starts yelling hysterically about how Michael murdered his father and how he's gonna roast in hell for what he's done. "There are some for whom no amount of forgiveness is sufficient." Very angry, Michael has Neri throw Andrew out of the house.

Neri returns and tells Michael that Andrew's gone... but he's got some bad news too.

-Drat, gotta go to class...-

(* I wrote "The Memoirs of Michael Corleone" in a creative writing class last year. Felt like quoting it. Pardon my egotism.)

~Mikey~


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207089
10/21/02 10:01 AM
10/21/02 10:01 AM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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Back from class...

Scene Three:
A flashback. Not so long ago, Michael (now one of the richest men in the world, he has modified his criminal empire to suit the changing times, dealing mostly in legalized gambling, but he has connections with the international drug trade, white collar crimes, and anything else extremely profitable) goes to NY to meet with some people from the Russian Mafia.

The Russians want to get in on the American underworld... little did they know that there was one man controlling most of it. "When we came here we knew nothing. We were better off ignorant. I wish I had never heard the name Michael Corleone." The Russians want to make a deal with Michael to get a piece of the profits. Michael listens to them, but realizing there's nothing in it for him and that the inexperienced Russians are a liability, he has no choice but to decline their offer.

The Russians tell Michael that he will regret his decision...


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207090
10/21/02 11:29 AM
10/21/02 11:29 AM
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Michael Corleone 14 Offline
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Michael Corleone 14  Offline
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Not a very bad script Don Mikey, but I don´t like the idea that there are Russians involved.

´´friendship and money, oil and wather´´


"I won't be a man like you." - Michael to Vito, orginal Part II ending
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207091
10/21/02 02:14 PM
10/21/02 02:14 PM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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Almost the whole of the story is told in this flashback, so TOM HAGEN CAN BE IN IT!!! YAY!

Scene Four:
At last, we get to see an older Tom Hagen! Michael and Tom haven't really been on good terms with each other since Fredo's death... for obvious reasons. Tom, who was Sonny's age, is now in his late sixties. He's bald and what hair he has left is gray or white. His health is also failing from all those years of stress and hard work so he's confined to a wheelchair. He's been living in semi-retirement. Despite that, he still has his aura of "Tom Hageness," and his mind is sharp as ever.

"A rare chance to speak with the god of the underworld," Hagen laughs. "I'm honored."

The two of them discuss the Russian problem. Tom warns Michael that he should be taking them more seriously. Michael writes them off as a minor threat. In Michael's reasoning, he ultra-rich, he beat the government, he's invincible. He also disregards reports that the Russians are making life hell for what's left of what was once the Clemenza Family in NY.

As usual, Tom's right about the Russians. Michael's new distrust of his lawyer and his refusal to listen to his advice like he used to in the old days, is going to cost him.


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207092
10/21/02 02:31 PM
10/21/02 02:31 PM
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Michael Corleone 14 Offline
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I like the rest of your script.
abaut the good old days.

´´Don´t overestimate the power of forgiveness´´


"I won't be a man like you." - Michael to Vito, orginal Part II ending
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207093
10/21/02 07:26 PM
10/21/02 07:26 PM
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Dream Master Offline
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I like it!!!


I have been blessed and I feel like I've found my way. I thank God for all I've been given at the end of every day. -- Martina McBride
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207094
10/21/02 09:58 PM
10/21/02 09:58 PM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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Scene Five:

The remaining members of the four other original New York families meet. Descendants and others associated with Barzini, Tattaglia, Cuneo, and Strachi (is that how you spell it?). The years have been hard on them. Many of their members have been imprisoned, their short on money, the government is cracking down hard on organized crime.

They see the coming of the Russians as the only thing that can possibly save them from utter destruction. "I say we let 'em get in, then we wipe 'em out and take what they got," Anthony Grazzi, Don of the Barzini Family suggests. "What about Corleone?" Tattaglia (son of the old Tattaglia) asks.

Grazzi tells the assembly that Michael has an ambitious young nephew, a man by the name of Vincent Mancini, who's been running a small operation of his own in New York and has run afoul of some local thugs He wants to take them out, but his Uncle Michael won't let him. Vincent states quite often that Michael's getting too old, and that the Corleone Family is in need of new leadership.

The Barzini, Tattaglia, Cuneo, and Strachi Families couldn't agree more...


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207095
10/22/02 04:16 AM
10/22/02 04:16 AM
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Michael Corleone 14 Offline
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Very Good !!

``Tattaglia´s a pimp´´


"I won't be a man like you." - Michael to Vito, orginal Part II ending
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207096
10/22/02 11:22 AM
10/22/02 11:22 AM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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Scene Six:
Vincent Mancini meets with the Barzini Family and a couple Russians. They tell Vincent they'll stand by him if he wants to try and sieze power. After a long discussion, Vincent and Grazzi reach an agreement. Vincent does want to be Don, after all.

Scene Seven:
Back with the Corleone Family, they receive a phone call saying that Kay and Mary (who were visiting some of Kay's relatives in New Hampshire) have been kidnapped.


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207097
10/22/02 01:52 PM
10/22/02 01:52 PM
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Don Mike, where's your humour? I thought we were telling each other stories like "The Reincarnation of Apollonia" and "The Corleone's in the Big Brother house", now you get all serious about this?

I especially liked the kidnapping idea, but..if you don't like GF3, why do you include Vincent Mancini in it? unless there's some great mystery about his whereabouts and his roots to be revealed later on??

Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207098
10/22/02 02:02 PM
10/22/02 02:02 PM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pherdy:
Don Mike, where's your humour? I thought we were telling each other stories like "The Reincarnation of Apollonia" and "The Corleone's in the Big Brother house", now you get all serious about this?
Variety is the spice of life! I put Vincent in there since it's kinda a rewrite of Part III. Besides, bad things are gonna happen to Vincent. (Insert long evil laugh here.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, "I'm going to listen to some Tony Benett records... since I bought tickets to the wrong opera."


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207099
10/22/02 02:04 PM
10/22/02 02:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Don Mikey:
Now, if you'll excuse me, "I'm going to listen to some Tony Benett records... since I bought tickets to the wrong opera."
that's my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207100
10/22/02 02:25 PM
10/22/02 02:25 PM
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Michael Corleone 14 Offline
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I like the idea of the kidnapping, a re-write of Part III ?

´´Don´t overestimate the power of forgiveniss`` Michael Corleone


"I won't be a man like you." - Michael to Vito, orginal Part II ending
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207101
10/22/02 02:35 PM
10/22/02 02:35 PM
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Don Mikey.

Your script is great. You are a good man and you have a great imagination. But I want to make you an offer you can't refuse .
I am developing a present storyline with the New Vincent Regime. When you answer me I will explain you my storyline. I wanted to show it to Ricardo, but he is nowhere to be seen. You, Ricardo, myself and others like Pherdy and Zasa could make it better.

If you are interested, answer.
If not, I will going to post my storyline anyway

Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207102
10/22/02 03:09 PM
10/22/02 03:09 PM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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Quote:
Originally posted by Michael Corleone 14:
I like the idea of the kidnapping, a re-write of Part III ?
Well... it's not exactly a 'GF4' since Mary's still alive, and so's Tom...

Don Giorgio:
I always like hearing other ideas for GF4! Though I'm not a big fan of Vincent, I would be glad to help make it better. I'm flattered that you think I could help.

I'm not gonna give up the GF4 I got goin' right now though. I'm liking it.

By the way, if you or anyone else has any ideas for some new characters or situations I can put in it, please tell me. There's gonna be a daughter of the old Barzini Family and (maybe) a bit about Turi Guilano... but that's all I've got so far.

And if anyone has any info on the Russian Mafia I could really use it. I don't know very much about them and they figure into the story in a pretty big way. Thanks.

~Mikey~


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207103
10/22/02 03:15 PM
10/22/02 03:15 PM
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Pherdy Offline
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Don Giorgio Gambino,

I had the same idea a few weeks back. Everyone on this board seems to have different ideas and opinions about storyline, etc. I then got the idea to use all ideas I can find and turn them into one big final story outline. I made up quite some of it myself, in the end, as you can see in my own topic "My GF setup", but lot of the ideas from that treatment is from all other users on this board.

Working together, would probably be the best.

When I started working on all the things I have posted tonight, I though it would be cool to make a website. On that site anyone who had an idea or a comment would join, and by discussing and commenting etc. the all of us would eventually, after a deadline (say Christmas 2003) would finish a by then very good Final transcript of a GF4 story. we would all write our things, our comments, and would discus it and give feedback, and the eventual result would be great then.

Of course, this was just wishfull thinking, that would never pull off. But posting our acts on this site is a good alternative.

Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207104
10/22/02 03:16 PM
10/22/02 03:16 PM
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Pherdy Offline
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Don Giorgio Gambino,

I had the same idea a few weeks back. Everyone on this board seems to have different ideas and opinions about storyline, etc. I then got the idea to use all ideas I can find and turn them into one big final story outline. I made up quite some of it myself, in the end, as you can see in my own topic "My GF setup", but lot of the ideas from that treatment is from all other users on this board.

I know Zasa and Don Mikey are interested too... I haven't heard from Ricardo either.

Working together, would probably be the best.

When I started working on all the things I have posted tonight, I though it would be cool to make a website. On that site anyone who had an idea or a comment would join, and by discussing and commenting etc. the all of us would eventually, after a deadline (say Christmas 2003) would finish a by then very good Final transcript of a GF4 story. we would all write our things, our comments, and would discus it and give feedback, and the eventual result would be great then.

Of course, this was just wishfull thinking, that would never pull off. But posting our acts on this site is a good alternative.

Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207105
10/22/02 03:34 PM
10/22/02 03:34 PM
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Don Giorgio Gambino Offline
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Ha!

Thanks for your approval Don Mikey and Pherdy! A rewrite of the GF3 looks great!

I'll give you a sinopsis of my idea. In a few days I would post my storyline more completly.

The Godfather Part IV:

Setting: New York and Sicilly. Sonny's time:1928 to 1938. Vincent's time: 1987-2001

Eight years had passed since the tragic night in the Plaermo opera house. Michael Corleone has retired to Sicily where he lives peacefully, leaving Don Vincent Corleone in charge of the American Operation. The Corleone contact in Sicily is Michael Graziella, Don Tomassino's former Underboss(B. 1931).
The Sicilian Families are falling down. They are between the police attacks and the growing power of the invading cartels: Russians, Japanese and Colombian. The Corleone are being destroyed by the cartels. And to make things worst, a new enemy has surfaced: Augustus Gaetano Corleone(Now there goes my favorite part.)
Born in Corleone as Gaetano Andolini in 1935, Gaetano was a rare kind of kid: he read books, especially those of Roman history.His favorite character was Emperor Augustus and when he decided to emigrate to Sicilly to "make his bones" he arranged false documents and became Augustus G. Corleone. With the chatrm and cunning of Vito, he was a pleasant sight. But instead of having the noble characteristics of his cousin, Vito, he used them for dark purpouses.

To be continued...

Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207106
10/22/02 03:46 PM
10/22/02 03:46 PM
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Pherdy Offline
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so in what year did "Tommy" emigrate then? He was born in 1931, fair enough...he would be 20 in 1951, that's four years before Don Vito dies...where was he in those years, and when does he appears in the American story? also, you start your Vincent story in 1987: Gaetano Andolini is 56 by then, or is he only part of the old Sonny story or what?

Very interesting, I never knew Vito had a cousin:) I heard once that Paramount Pictures have the copyright to the character "Stefan Andolini" a cousin or either an uncle of Vito.

Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207107
10/22/02 03:49 PM
10/22/02 03:49 PM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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YAY FOR ROMAN HISTORY!

Sorry, you gotta love ancient Rome. A man who doesn't like ancient Rome can never be a real man. Sounds awesome so far, Don Giorgio!

Pherdy, I was thinking of starting a website (a real one, since xanga is just an online journal thing) where I could post some of my fanfiction (not just GF stuff). Fanfiction.net is driving me crazy! Their servers are always down.

I have a friend who started a website for fanfiction about her favorite movie. Maybe we should do that. A Godfather fanfaction page with scripts for Part IV, etc.


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207108
10/22/02 03:59 PM
10/22/02 03:59 PM
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I'm willing to do a Godfather FanFic page if there are a few people who are willing to commit to helping me with it. I gotta have contributors!!! After all, what good's a Godfather FanFiction site without any Godfather FanFiction? I'll be willing to start the site n' do all the setup stuff and maintain it. I go to the world's most boring college, so there isn't much to do here. I'll probably have time to do it.

If there's a lot of interest, I'll start a whole topic about a Godfather FanFiction page. We could also post some of the comedy stuff from "GodBrother."


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207109
10/22/02 04:02 PM
10/22/02 04:02 PM
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just tell me when, where and how to get there, cause: COUNT ME IN BABY!

oh, did that sound a little bit TOO enthousiastic. I think with a little help we could pull it off (I was just about to ask you how that freakin Xanga worked, but it doesn't really seem appropriate for our wishes you're right)

that ancient Rome thing made me think of the movie Gladiator, which was filmed for large parts on Malta, an English/Italian island not far from Sicily, where Corleone was born.... anyway

(thoughts were drifting away...)

Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207110
10/22/02 04:06 PM
10/22/02 04:06 PM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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I'll start working on it. I gonna talk to my friend about how she set hers up. It might take a little while to get started, but we'll get there.


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207111
10/22/02 04:34 PM
10/22/02 04:34 PM
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well since it's settled, I don't mind waiting... I'm very busy at the moment anyway, so (damn exams)

Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207112
10/22/02 05:01 PM
10/22/02 05:01 PM
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I think working together for a Godfather IV transcript would be awesome! Together was can bounce ideas off one another, ala Puzo and Coppola. I think a fanfiction website would also be kick ass. And if we can't get that, we could just set up a chatroom with all of us. Man, dont ya love how The Godfather brings people together?
"You can never lose your family."


"We've all heard the story of the canary who could sing, but couldn't fly"
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207113
10/22/02 05:39 PM
10/22/02 05:39 PM
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Behold the results of one of the hardest things I've ever done! I'll tell you about submitting stories soon... and I'm gonna jazz the site up a bit.

Godfather FanFics



"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Re: My GF4 - Michael Triumphant #207114
10/22/02 06:35 PM
10/22/02 06:35 PM
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Don Mikey Offline OP
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Wow... I finally got the submissions thing up! I think I'm getting the hang of Yahoo Page Editor now. I'm looking forward to all of the great Godfather fanfiction that will grace the page.

Zasa, Pherdy, Don Giorgio... thanks for the inspiration and the support. Let's make the 'Godfather FanFiction Page' kick ass like it should!


"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
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