The United States recently resurrected their Outer Space Exploration Program. In fact, NASA is now so fully committed to it, that they’ve opened up a 24-hour restaurant on the moon to serve astronauts and other space workers.

Several restaurants critics and “foodies” have already eaten there and written reviews. They all say the same thing, that the food is really great, but that the place has absolutely no atmosphere.
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Have a nice day fellas!

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He just couldn’t see himself doing it.

Sometimes, life can get pretty ridiculous...

For instance, I’ll log into Facebook and see that everyone I know is down at our local bar. Then I’ll go down to the bar, and see that everyone is on Facebook.

Don Calogero advises that...

Mafia informants are just like good eggs...They always sink right to the bottom.

Did you hear about the baby that was born with 5 penises ?
He looked strange, but his diapers fit him like a glove.

A guy runs into the E.R with his 3 yr old son and tells the doctor that the kid swallowed a 50 cent piece.
They send the kid to the X-Ray Dept.
After about 10 minutes,the Doctor comes out,and the Dad asks,"how's my son"
The Doc replies "still no change".

A guy is getting a prostate exam.
The Doc says "you know,it's not unusual to get an erection during this procedure"
The guy says "but I don't have an erection"
The Doctor says "no,but I do"

Why don’t melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

The other day a friend of mine told me that he lost his job as a waiter at an Italian restaurant because, apparently, he had unwittingly insulted a major Mafia boss by taking away his plate of macaroni.

...But he explained that he thought the guy said he was Don!

The Palm Sunday Donation...
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One Palm Sunday, a Catholic Priest, while addressing his congregation, explained that the church was having a hard time meeting its obligations financially and needed some extra money.

So he asked his flock to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate that Sunday. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed around and collected, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a crisp $1,000 bill in the collection plate.

He was so excited that he immediately expressed his joy to the congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who had been so generous to the church.

Suddenly, a very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back pew shyly raised her hand.

The pastor asked her to please up come to the front. So, with the help of a cane, the old woman very slowly walked up to the alter where the pastor was standing.

He joyfully sang her praises and told her how wonderful it was that she had donated so much money. Then, as a measure of his gratitude, the priest asked her to pick out whichever three hymns she desired.

Her eyes quickly brightened up as she gazed over the congregation. She then pointed to the three most handsome men sitting in the pews and said, "I'll take him, him, and him."
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ButtonGuys wishes those who celebrate a Happy Palm Sunday!

Did you hear that the invisible man turned down several very nice the job offers?

Yeah, he said that at the end of the day, he just couldn’t see himself doing them.

I just read that last Sunday actor John Travolta tested negative for Covid-19....Turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever...

I know a guy that's so cheap,he lines his pockets with rubber so he can steal soup.

Why was everyone so tired by the time Easter came?

...Because they'd just finished a 31-day March.

Why should you never write with a broken pencil?

...Because it’s pointless.

Why are pyramids only found in Egypt?

Because they were way too big to transport to museums.

......same SHIT here too....this thread should be in the general forum too....why are you polluting the OC forum with stupd stuff like these...reported!

Branches of the dreaded Mafia seem to be everywhere...

For instance, Oceanographers and Marine Biologists recently discovered that there's even a Mafia faction among marine life, operating deep at the bottom of the ocean.

It's a true watery criminal "underworld" so to speak, and that hoodlum fish have a distinct underworld hierarchy and are led by a boss fish known as, The Codfather.

It's run by Big Tuna,and they make a lot of money Loan-Sharking.

LOL, LOL....now THAT was definitely funny!

A slightly-deranged woman was in First District Court, standing before the sentencing judge, after copping a plea to having beaten her guitar-playing husband to death.

Reviewing her case history file, the judge noticed the woman had no previous criminal record. So the judge asked her, "first offender?"

She quickly replied back to him, "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."

Snow has never been a problem in the Middle East....

...but ISIS

What is the most common form of physicians and medicine practiced in Egypt?

..."Cairo-practors"

Some Saturday Shenanigans....
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THE INDIAN NAMING RITUAL

A young Indian boy was curious about how he got his name. So he asked the their tribal chief, "Chief, how do we get our names?"

The Chief answers him, "We give names by what is happening outside the teepee during ones birth.


"When your mother was born, it was on a beautiful April day, so we named her BlueSky.

"After your father's birth, we were greeted by a large majestic deer, so we named him WhiteTail."

A bit puzzled by the little brave's questions, the chief then looked down at the boy, and asked, "Why do you ask BearFuckingBear?"

A Monday morning chuckle...
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Where there’s smoke?

“Once, my father came home and found me in the house standing before a huge roaring fire. That really made him mad because we didn’t even have a fireplace.” 

Guy comes home from work and his wife is on her hands and knees,bare naked,scrubbing the kitchen floor.
He figures what the heck,drops his pants,and does what comes naturally.
After he finishes,he punches her as hard as he can on the back of her head.
She yells "what the hell was that for?"
Hubby says "for not turning around to see who it was".

LOL....not bad Lou, not bad.

“Although completely insignificant in the scheme of things, gnats and mosquitoes are annoying and are carriers of disease. So make sure to do your part and swat a few today.”

…This has been a Public Service announcement. Lol.

A repeat offender was standing in criminal court before the judge for stealing a pair of shoes.

Judge: "I'm very disappointed in you. Because it was only two years ago that you were standing here before me for stealing a pair of shoes, and I gave you a break and placed you on probation. Now you're here again for the exact same offense!"

Defendant: "You're absolutely correct your honor, and I do apologize. But they just don't make shoes like they used to."

It's hard to believe they've actually started a sex offender registry.

...I mean, after all, who would buy gifts for these type of people anyway?

I have a question for the forum this Sunday morning....If a parsley farmer gets sued...can the court garnish his wages?


Happy Sunday GBB!

A repeat offender gets busted and when he appears in court,the Judge says "I thought I told you last time that I never wanted to see you in my courtroom again."
The guy says,"Your Honor,I told the cops that,but they brought me here anyway."