How bout a corny chicken joke? I think we're due, lol...
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Why did the mafioso chicken cross the road, throw himself into the mud and roll around in it, then walk across the road again?


...Because he was a dirty double crosser.

THE MIDDLE EAST...
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"The Genie And The Wish"

A woman walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman soon came back to her senses and asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope. . . due to inflation, constant downsizing, fierce global competition, and low wages in third-world countries, I can only grant you one wish. So, . . . what shall it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Good Lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for centuries. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

The woman thought for a few minutes and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the house cleaning, is good in bed, gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for — a good man!"

The Genie gave her a look and let out a long sigh as he shook his head and rubbed his chin. He then replied, "Lady, let me see that map again!"

THE SUNDAY EXERCISE PROGRAM...
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The other day I bumped into an old friend who's now exercising religiously. He said, "I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday mornings, and then don't even think about it again for the rest of the week."

Somewhere in the Middle East...2000 years ago...

"We don't care who your father is, understand? When we're out here fishing, don't you dare walk on the water!"

Middle East 2,000 years ago:
We don't care who your dad is,we wanna cut the deck!

What do you get when you jingle a man’s balls?

-A white Christmas.

Question: What's the name of the biggest cheese factory in the Middle East?

Answer: Cheeses of Nazareth Inc.

How is it that the Middle East is not leading the world in wind energy...

... when they have practically one turban per person.

A NEW CRISIS HAS DEVELOPED IN THE MIDDLE EAST...
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News outlets reported last night that there's a new crisis developing in the Middle East. Widespread protests and violence has quickly erupted among the populous after Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast "The Flintstones."

A government spokesman later released a formal comment, stating, "The people in Dubai simply would not understand the western humor. But we are allowing the show to air in other cities where we feel it will be better received by the people, such as those in Abu Dhabi Do."

What's a favorite game that children are taught to play in the Middle East?

...Jihad and seek!

Some Sunday Shenanigans...
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A repeat offender comes before the judge in court after getting arrested for stealing a pair of shoes.

The Judge looks at his name, glances down at the defendant and immediately remembers him from an earlier criminal case.

The Jurist remarks, "I'm very disappointed with you, because it was only two years ago that you were here for stealing a pair of shoes. Now you're here once again for the exact same offense. What do you have to say for yourself?"

The defendant thought for a second and then remarked, "You're absolutely right your Honor, and I apologize for that. But they just don't make shoes the way they used to."
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HAPPY SUNDAY FOLKS!

THE MIDDLE EAST...
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One day little Frankie asked his mom why the American government keeps sending their soldiers to Middle East.

His mother replied," Do you see the beef on the table over there? Go grab it and put it in the refrigerator."

After Frankie did as his mom asked him to do, she said, "Now go take it out of the fridge and put it on the table again."

Little Frankie went and did as he was told.

Then his mother said, "Good boy. Now go put the beef into the refrigerator again."

He gave her a confused look, but did as she asked.

But, after thinking about what she asked, with his hands now all greasy, Frankie commented to her, "I don't see the reason why we're doing this, ma."

His mother replied, "It doesn't matter what the reasons are. Just tell me what you have in your hands now, after all the things you did."

"Nothing but oil, ma." Little Frankie replied.

HARASSING THE PEDS...
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The police recently charged a local resident with targeting registered child molesters and pedophiles for harassment. They say the defendant went on the sex offender registry and found the home addresses of all the child sex offenders in his area and them sent them all threatening hate mail.

A police spokesperson further stated that to insure they all read his letters, "He wrote them in crayon."

A general rule of thumb for finding naked women in the Middle East is...

You can Sikh all you like, but you won't find.

ButtonGuys will be posting only Christmas jokes for the next few days, ok folks?
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I heard that one time Santa had to be rescued by the fire department after he got stuck inside a chimney on Christmas Eve.

They tell me he was starting to feel very Claus-trophobic.

Here's a combo Christmas and Middle East joke...to try an accommodate our more picky members. Lol
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What Christmas carol can be heard in the desert?

Answer: O Camel Ye Faithful.

Some Christmas jokes for our merrier members...
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Q: Why didn’t Rudolph make honor roll in school this semester?


...Because he went down in history.

Here is one from Youtube, called Chinese doctor vs American doctor.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6jq2lnLTwc

You know what’s so great about this time of year?

You can slam your laptop shut when your partner walks into the room, and you don’t get any disgusted looks.

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What does a man who had a vasectomy have in common with a Christmas tree?

Their balls are both decorative.

Lol cheers

What’s the difference between Santa Clause and a knight?

One slays a dragon...the other drags a sleigh.

Did you hear about the stool pigeon who was found in the trunk of a automobile with his tongue cut out by the mafia?

Never mind. Turns out some folks think it's a tasteless joke.

loan-shark laughter...
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One day an Italian wholesale distributor of herbs received a shylock loan from a mafioso.

The following week his loan collector walked in to pick up the first payment, when the businessman informed him that he didn’t have his money.

Upon hearing this, the collector began cursing and threatening the vendor, and, of course, the frightened businessman, now scared out of his wits, started pleading for his life, asking, “Please sir, please give me one more week to get your money.”

But the heartless thug responded, “No! Get me my money because your thyme is up!”

A mafioso once asked a young lady if she knew the difference between casual conversation and sex?
When she replied, no? He commented, “Then would you like to go back to my place and chat a bit?

I'm so sick and tired of Italian-Americans always being stereotyped as Mobsters...

No! Just because we happen to be of Italian extraction doesn't mean that every single one of us are in the Mafia.

But we know a guy...who knows a guy...who knows a guy.

Did you hear about the Sicilian actor who only won his Academy Award because of the Mafia?

...It turns out that they really knew how to rig-a-Tony.

What did the Mafia accountant goons do when Daffy Duck couldn’t cough up the vig for the loan-shark money he borrowed?


Why, they immediately went to work on his de-duck-shins of course!

Mafia bosses recently passed a new Commission rule allowing their soldiers to date both men and women...

I guess nowadays, the bosses just figure let Bi-Dons be Bi-Dons.

What is your New Year's Eve resolution?

Mine is something that usually goes in one year and right out the other. lol

. LOL. That’s a good one

LOL. What can I say...I do what I can JC.