Whacky Wednesday...
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Since at least the early 1900s, one of the Sicilian Mafia's most important rackets has always been their control over the Mediterranean island's ports and fishing industry, which is a multimillion-dollar business.

In fact, the Mafia assigned one particular "capo" to be in charge of the entire lucrative racket for them....scuttlebutt in the underworld is that he's nicknamed the "Codfather"

A mob boss is attending the funeral of his longtime underboss, a man he had called his best friend since the two were kids.

As the service is drawing to a close, the old don spots an FBI agent in the crowd of mourners.

Angered, the boss walks over to the agent and says "What the fuck are you doing here you piece of shit?". Without skipping a beat, the agent goes "Oh I just came to pay my respects. We've been working with Jimmy since 1965."

Then the mob boss replies..

“Ralphie I must admit you are a dumb fuck.”

Only dumb fucks support rats. Keep supporting them kid lol

Assumptions is all you have. You haven’t read the 302’s have you? No you have not so shut your mouth on the matter..

These are not assumptions. I would never accuse anyone of being a rat if I wasn't 100% sure. It has been confirmed by someone close to me. You will see. We'll speak then.

Another quick one...
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Harry Potter would have made a great Mafia boss. Because he always catches the snitch!

Freaky Fridays....
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THE RIGHT-HAND MAN!

One day a Mafia boss asks his right-hand man if he's willing to do anything asked of him. The young soldier replies, "Of course I would. Why, I'd even give my life for you, my beloved capo!'

The Mafia boss then says to him. "Ok then, go into the bathroom, jerk-off, and then bring it out." He then hands his trusty soldier a plastic cup.

Unsure of what's going on, the devoted right-hand man dutifully goes into the bathroom, jerks himself off into the plastic cup, and come out.

The boss then says, "Good, very good. Now go in and do it again. And don't forget to bring it out again to show me," as he hands the soldier a new cup.

So the young mafioso heads back into the bathroom and jerks off once again. He walks out a bit tired, with much less in the cup than the first time around. This routine goes on three more times as the boss watches and remarks, "Very good, very good indeed! You did good, but I want you to go jerk-off one last time."

He hands him a new cup and the soldier returns to the bathroom and does what he was ordered to do.

He's in there awhile, but when the bathroom door finally opens, the young soldier is barely able to walk out. He is all wobbly and half dragging himself. But he wobbles over to his capo and shows him the cup. There is hardly a drop in there.

The Mafia boss is now smiling widely and then says, "Alright Vito, I want you to take my daughter Maria out for pizza and to the movies, and then bring her back safely."
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This joke is for all the jerk-offs!

I actually crack myself up sometimes...(in fact, make that most of the time)

"all the jerk-offs" LOL...What a card!

Saturday's Shit-n-Giggles...
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Q: Whats similar between the Mafia and a pussy?

A: Many people have never been in either one, yet they wanna talk like they have.

A Sunday Chuckle...because I know there's been some sad faces out there these last few days.
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PLANNING A HIT...

Mafia boss speaks to his minions: "I want Joey's brake lines on his car to be rusting out so he'll crash. But make sure...damn well sure, you make his death look like an oxidant!"
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I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday.

A Little Monday Madness....
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Q: Why is prostitution still illegal?

A: Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want any competition!

Tuesday Tickles....
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A group of Italian politicians were flying over Italy...

When the Mayor of Pisa exclaimed, "Look, we're now flying over Pisa!" The other passengers asked, "How can you tell?" Pisa's Mayor replied, "You can see the Leaning Tower."

A little while later the Roman Mayor shouted, "Look everyone, we're now flying over the beautiful City of Roma!" The other passengers asked, "How do you know?" The Roman Mayor proudly responded, "You can see the Coliseum!"

Some time later, the Mayor of Naples cried out, "At last, we're finally flying over Napoli!" The other passengers then inquired, "How can you tell?" Napoli's Mayor calmly replied, "Well. just look at your wrists, all your watches have been stolen."
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Happy Tuesday GBB!

What do red sauce and a mustache have in common to an Italian man?
He'll never do either one as good as his Mother's.

Lou, as an Italian, born and bred, I gotta tell ya that was very disturbing!....(but funny) lol

I'm 100% Italian,and that makes it all the more amusing.

How did the Mafia get started?
They wouldn't let Italians into Harvard.

Why are so many Italian men named Tony?
Their Immigration papers said "To New York"

I'm only kidding you. A joke's a joke. Some people are way too thin skinned. Unless its an outright insult (and meant to be), like I say, a joke's just a joke. Its all good

Lol. nice...let's keep it going and add a few more smiles out there in cyberspace-land. lol

NP. I know you were just kidding.

Tony,Luigi,and Pasquale were working on a construction job.

Every time Luigi took his wheelbarrow to Tony to get bricks,he would load Luigi up so much that he could barely move.
When Pasquale took his wheelbarrow up,Tony would only throw in one brick.

This went on for about an hour.

Finally,Luigi got mad and asked Tony,"how come-a you give Pasquale only one brick and you load-a me up?"
Tony replied, "me and Pasquale had a bigga fight,and I'm-a still mad at him"

Wednesday Whackyness!...
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TAKING YOUR BUCKWHEATS...

Frankie Boy was a fledgling young mafioso who worked directly for the Family boss. He eventually received a promotion and was assigned to the boss' personal security detail.

The boss' daughter soon caught a glimpse of the strapping and handsome young mafioso and decided she wanted a little piece of him for herself. So one evening she called Frankie into her bedroom and began making out with him. But just as they were getting hot and heavy, the boss entered the room and caught them red-handed in the act.

Enraged, he immediately called two of his goons in, and instructed them to take Frankie to be properly "disciplined." They dragged Frankie to another mafioso. A big ugly, and very violent mafioso by the name of Big Al.

They knocked on Big Al's door. He opens it and quickly snarled, "What the fuck do you want? I'm eating my lunch!"

The goons explained, "The boss caught this idiot getting frisky with his daughter. He wants you to break all his teeth and then fuck him in his ass!"

"Ok," replied Al, "just throw him on the floor and I'll handle this after lunch." So the goons threw Frankie to the floor and left.

Now Frankie had been in plenty of fights in his life, and had broken some bones. But he was completely terrified at the prospect of getting ass-fucked. So he tried pleading with Big Al, "Please, come on, man! Can't you just break my teeth and leave it at that? Please don't fuck me in the ass."

"SHUT UP," Yelled Big Al. The boss wants you ass-fucked. So thats it! I'm gonna fuck you in the ass but good! I'm not even gonna use vaseline! LOL, Now shut the fuck up and let me finish my meatball hero," Exclaimed Big Al.
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As Frankie became resigned to his fate, he began crying on the floor...Then suddenly, the door opened up again and the goons dragged in another mafioso into the room. They explained to Big Al, "The boss just caught this guy stealing from him. He told us to let you know he wants you to break all his teeth and cut off both his fucking hands too!"

"No problem," said Big Al. "Leave him with me. I'll handle this after I finish lunch."

Now as Frankie and this other guy were on the floor awaiting their fate, the door opened once more. The same goons drag in a third mafioso and tell Big Al, "This fucking stool pigeon was informing to the cops. The boss wants you to break every fucking tooth in his mouth and cut out his fucking tongue as well!"

They throw the rat on the floor next to the other two hapless hoods, and then depart.

Seeing and hearing all this, soon has Frankie thinking. After a few minutes of contemplation, the young hoodlum called out, "Hey Al, just remember pal, I'm the guy that you have to fuck in the ass without vaseline. Make sure you don't forget, ok!"

Its all relative I guess... lol

Saturday's Shits-n-Giggles...
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There once was a Muslim kid that was notoriously late for everything!

They call him 9/12

I once dated a girl who never stopped talking.
I nicknamed her "Parole" because she never let anyone finish a sentence.

Or... "No Parole" lol

Saturday Shenanigans...
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A father and mother took their young son with them to Europe on vacation and decided to visit a nude beach while they were there.

They didn't want their impressionable young boy to get a distorted viewpoint about beauty, so they told him before they got there, "The men you might see with really big long dicks and the girls with really, really big pointy boobs, well, they're both really, really dumb."

When they got to the beach, they set down a blanket and opened beach chairs and enjoyed the sand and the water. After awhile, they all split up to walk around a bit.

Later on, the mother saw her son and asked where his dad was.

The boy replied, "Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really really, dumb blonde, and the longer they talked, the dumber and dumber dad seemed to get."

A Sunday Rib Tickler...
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THE VOLUNTEER!

A U.S. Army Sergeant addressed his squad of 25 soldiers saying, "I have a real nice easy job to assign to one of you. And I want the laziest soldier here in the company for this. So raise up your hand if you're the laziest man here!"

Hearing what an easy assignment it was gonna be, 24 men quickly raised up their hands. Seeing this, the sergeant turned to the last soldier and asked him, "Why didn't you raise your hand up soldier?"

The soldier lazily replied, "Too much trouble raising my hand, Sarge."
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Have a great Sunday folks!

Whacky Wednesdays....
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Q: Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?"

A: Because every show needs a cast!
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....It's been a few days since I posted up a joke. I figured the forum was due one. Enjoy the day!

Here's a little joke for anyone who may be having a rough one...
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There was a guy who made lots of money selling office supplies like file cabinets, label makers, note pads, etc., to the Mafia.

But I heard he ended up quitting his sales job after the FBI arrested him for being involved with very organized crime!