HAIR SPRAY…

One afternoon little Frankie was sitting in his backyard, when his grandfather came out to join him.

‘Grandpa, I’m bored.” complained Frankie.

“You’re bored? Ok, I’ll tell you what,” replied his Grandfather, as the old
man reached down and picked a worm up from the lawn.

“If you can get this worm back into its wormhole, I’ll give you $10. That should keep you occupied for awhile.” replied his grandfather.

Little Frankie scratched his head and thought about what his grandpa had said for a minute or two, then he walked out of the backyard, back into the house, and up the stairs into his mother’s bedroom.

A minute later Frankie walked back out with a can of his mother’s hair spray, put his foot on one end of the worm, stretched the little creature out as far as it would go, and then sprayed the entire worm with the hair spray.

He then waited a minute, let go of the worm, and it was very straight and very stiff.

The boy then looked up at his grandpa as he easily slid the worm right into its little worm hole.

Frankie’s grandfather was simply amazed at the grandson’s ingenuity. He patted little Frankie on the head, he reached into his pocket, pulled out a crisp new $10 bill, and handed it to his grandson as promised.

The very next day, Frankie was playing in his backyard again when his grandpa walked out with a great big smile on his face. The old man reached into his pocket and handed the boy more money…only this time, it was a $20 bill.

Little Frankie looked at the money, and then back up at his grandfather, asking, “Whats this for grandpa?”

“Thats from grandma,” replied the old man.
--



...Happy Monday from ButtonGuys of The New York Mafia

I did not laugh

The other day a very distraught man called the suicide hotline in Iraq looking for help.

They answered the telephone on the very first ring. And as soon as the man explained that he was feeling suicidal, they got all excited and right away asked if he knew how to drive a truck.

An Iranian father just presented his daughter with a brand new handbag.


So, naturally, the surprised girl happily replied to her father, "Thanks for the Baghdad!"

A Jewish guy finds a magic lamp.When he rubs it,a genie appears and tells him that he can grant only one wish. The guy says,"I wish for an end to the fighting,and a lasting peace between Jews and Arabs". The genie says,"that's a pretty tall order,do you have a different wish that is more realistic"? The Jewish guy says "my wife refuses to perform oral sex on me.I would like to have it just once before I die". The genie pauses and then says "let's go back to that peace thing".

I gotta admit, I've heard that one before, but its still a cute joke.

A KGB agent walks into a library and sees an old Jewish man sitting at a corner table reading a book.

So the agent walks over to the old man and inquires,“What are you reading, old man?”

The old Jew looks up and replies back, “I’m learning the Hebrew language, comrade."

The KGB agent then asks, “What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes many years to even get permission to travel to Israel? You'll die long before you ever get a visa.”

“I’m learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven, so I can speak with Moses and Abraham,” replies the old man.

“How do you know you’ll even go to heaven? What if you go to hell?” asks the KGB agent.

The old Jew retorted back, “Well then, I already speak Russian!"
-


...Have a nice day gentlemen!

An oldie but goodie:

A Jewish woman and her grandson are strolling on the beach.
Suddenly. a huge wave washes over the boy and sweeps him out to sea.
The woman falls to her knees and prays,"Lord please spare my grandson".
Just then,another wave picks the boy up and deposits him at Grandma's feet.
The woman looks up to the sky and says "what happened to his hat"?

LOL...not bad LP

FREAKY FRIDAYS...(here's a real good one that had me laughing for quite awhile...Maybe a few of you will find the humor and irony in it as well.)
--

A few years back, I heard about a very sick guy from the Bronx who was so into Sadomasochism that he decided to join a BDSM sex club in Westchester County…But he soon got kicked out by the other degenerates.

…It seems he kept coming without permission.

Did you hear about the midget that got kicked out of the Nudist colony because he kept putting his nose where it didn't belong ?

lol

Here's another one...

Q; Why are demolition experts and dominatrixes alike?

A: They both like wrecking balls!

LOL

Whats the difference between a BDSM slave-boy, and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking if you slap it.

Q: What's the difference between BDSM and Necrophilia?

A: Give or take, just about 5 minutes.

Looks like this is gonna be a fun exercise! lol

HERE’S A FUN FACT….

What is the male equivalent of a dominatrix?

Well, according to the dictionary, he would be called A “DOM” or A Sir. And I guess if he were of Italian extraction, and involved in that sort of low-life degenerate activity, he would then been referred to as A Dominick.

Ha! Ha! Ha!....

Why are there no Walmarts in Syria and Iran?

Because as of yesterday, the U.S. has decided to put a Target on many corners instead.

The current situation in the Middle East reminds me of that old joke about the optimist and the pessimist.

The pessimist says, "everything's terrible, it can't get any worse."

But the optimist says, "oh yes it can, and I expect it will."

Why don't they bother to celebrate New Year's Eve in the Middle East?

Because there's never anyone left standing around by the time the clock hits zero!

Why did the bicycle collapse?

...I guess it was because it was two tired!

The Sons of Some Mob Guys Fall Very Far From The Tree!...
-
(Here's a humorous little tale some of you may find interesting)...

Many years ago, back in the 1980s, a mother was cleaning her family’s Bronx home when she discovered a large number of BDSM sex magazines hidden beneath her son’s bed.

Very upset by all the degenerate sexual content her young son was obviously getting ‘off’ on, and very confused as to what to do about it, she reluctantly called her knockaround husband into their son’s bedroom to show him the bevy of sordid bondage magazines, dildos, makeup and women’s clothes she had found. She commented to him, “Honey, this kid of ours is really sick in the head. What the hell do you think we should do about him?”

Thinking about what a total degenerate his son was, the embarrassed father just looked down and shook his head in total disgust, then frowned and replied to her, “I’m not really sure honey, but I guess spanking him is definitely out of the question!”

The ventriloquist dummy said he hates having his life led by someone else.

So the ventriloquist retorted, "Then why not speak for yourself?"

SO, WHAT'S IN A NAME?...LOL, LET'S FIND OUT, SHALL WE?
-

A man once had four sons from four different women, and he decided to name them Brodwell, Kenneth, Conrad & Dominick.

One day the four sons approached their father and asked him why he had given them those particular names...and was there any deeper meaning behind them?

The father scornfully retorted, “If you wanna know the real reason why you got those names, all you gotta do is take the first three letters of each name and then put them together…and you’ll have your answer!
-

...one tough "break" as it were...and the poor guy's been suffering with his "mistakes" ever since! LOL

Why did Allah bestow falafel and hummus on the people of the Middle East?


...They had prayed for more gas.

Some Sunday Shenanigans for Smiles...

A Dom just started taking an advanced one-on-one ‘Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism’ class. Unfortunately his BDSM teacher was out sick last week.

But, luckily, Dom got assigned a sub.

Did you hear that several military bigwigs are currently under investigation for BDSM activities?

Yes, investigators said apparently they're into Corporal Punishment.

The Mafia has recently decided to get into "online" crime to keep up with the latest trend. They just launched a new App called "Pay-Up-Pal"

Sammy Sadsack's wife Mable just left him. She said his entire life revolved around football and she was just sick and tire of it and couldn't take it anymore.

Sammy was completely shocked and didn't understand why she left him, complaining to a buddy, "I'm really upset. After all, Mable and I had been together for 7 seasons already.

Did you know, it's considered somewhat of a phenomena in Egypt, but they don't tell any daddy jokes over there?

My understanding is that only mummy jokes are allowed.