The life and fatherhood aren't a good fit.
How good of a father can you be from Jail?

Soldiers can be away from their families for years, sometimes they never come home. Nobody suggests soldiers cant be good fathers.

Mob guys arent soldiers in the millitary defending this country theres a big difference...not to mention when your cheating on your wife and having 2nd wives and mistresses your cheating on the whole family....

Well first of all, you have to consider the traditions of the day. Most of the people we are talking about lived at a different time. Did the average Italian-American dad in the 1960's help Johnny with his math homework and coach little league? Some did but I think was rare.

Fathers at that time and culture were providers and enforcers first and foremost. A "bad father" back then was a guy who didnt work and didnt pay the bills no matter how many games of "catch" he played. In the generation before, men would have families and sometimes just walk away without a word. Sometimes they just had enough and went back to Italy or just started new families and left the first family to fend for themselves [ this was at a time with no welfare, no assistance, and no court mandated child support ]. My grandparent's parents had alot of stories like that and my mother's grandmother actually had her husband walk out and start a new family. He never even acknowledged his previous children. He didnt even leave the neighborhood! He just walked out and pretended not to know them.

So by the 1950's and 1960's if you were a man who stayed, paid the bills, and acknowledged/provided for your children...you were a pretty good father, even if you whacked your wife and kids around a little bit that was just not considered such a big deal like it is today.

My Grandfather was a Bonanno captain, pretty high rank. He spent alot of years in prison, he whacked my father around, everyone was afraid of him. He even whacked me around a couple of times, alot of men from that time were like that. But he supported his family, he stayed put, he guided his children away from the streets and into legitimate business. He paid for private education, he insisted on college for them.

By today's whacked out standards you'd say he was 'an abuser', but in reality I'd consider him a decent father for the time and culture. He was a hard man, you could easily hate him. But you'd respect him and he took care of his responsibilities.

Soldiers can be away from their families for years, sometimes they never come home. Nobody suggests soldiers cant be good fathers.

It’s crazy how many guys had 2 families back in the day. I used to hear those stories growing up too. And it’s not like they were on the other side of the country with it. They always stayed in the same neighborhood! Different times like you said. I remember even being a little kid and when a woman in the neighborhood had a black eye or something the older women would basically blame her and say “well she must have done something”. But if the guy didn’t provide good... that was when they would all talk about what a scumbag he is.

Just because you support what soldiers are doing doesnt mean they are good fathers. You think soldiers are "defending the country" alot of people would disagree with that. As to cheating on your wife, lots of soldiers cheat on their wives, lots of mobsters are loyal to their wives...thats neither here no there.