Me and 2 co-workers o mine (Mr.Pepperoni and Miss Onion)went to a certain mall the other day. (note: we are not friends, just co-workers, we went to the mall to buy a birthday gift for another co-worker)

Suddenly, Mr. Pepperoni said: "Holy Jesus fucking Maria, I gotta take a dump"

We made our way to the toilet, escorting the poor fella, and there it was like in the old arcade machines : "insert coin" to pass the gate to the toilet.

Mr. Pepperoni was already scrambling through his pockets searching for a lil quarter to set him free, but Miss Onion wouldnt hear about it, she went like:

"The hell you are, you're not paying these sons o bitches a cent! this is outrageous! paying money to use the toilet...Im gonna sue their asses!"

At that point, Mr.Pepperoni, whose quest for freedom and self relaxation has been detained, turned all red, screaming at Miss Onion :

"I dont care about it now, I gotta go in, move aside!"

To which Miss Onion replyed: "over my dead body! it is totally unacceptable that a human being will have to PAY for his basic natural needs, this is unheard of, humanity is going backwards...and I wont let you be part of it, stand your ground, fight for whats right!"

Mr.Pepperoni, realizing its only a matter of seconds before his ass blows off, tried a different, more sophisticated tactic to relieve Miss Onion from her firm grip on the coin slice:

"Listen, what about food & drinks? those are basic needs too. And you gotta pay for them, right? so whats the big deal here"

Miss Onion: "Bah, youre weak. Youlll say anything to go in. THE BIG DEAL IS that in FOOD you acquire something new, hence the need to pay for it, but with the other thing, you perform a natural physical body action and u need to pay for it? its disgusting!"

If you're asking where was I in all that act...well I was standing right behind them, laughing my ass off enjoying the show. in the end, he pushed her and got in....she kept screaming after him : "HAVE YOU NO MORALS????DONT SURRENDER!!!"

A security guard who heard the screamings came to see what was all the commotion about, and she started all over again, telling the guard the payment sytem of the toilets is a "dangerous facilty which endangers the future of our society"--(those were her exact words...)

You know what I think? as irritating as Miss Onion can be, I must say I do understand her feelings on the matter. If theres already a toilet in a public place, let it be free.
On the other hand, I also understand Mr.Pepperoni, who had to go in, knowing that if he wont it wouldnt change a damn thing, the gate that says "wanna take a dump? fuck you pay me!" will still be there tomorrow. his refusal would only bring a smile on Miss Onion's face and a big mess in his pants.

What r your thoughts?
Should it be free? is it wrong to charge money in this case?
Will you pay money to use the toilet?

I'd rather shit in somebody's mouth than shit in a public toilet. In fact, I'd rather have somebody else shit in my mouth than shit in a public toilet.

I wouldn't go that far, but yea, I would never ever shit in a public toilet.

Meh, when you gotta do it you gotta do it. I always use my own thrown but there have been cases at work where I've had an emergency.

Of course I kind of lost my job after the building was closed for being a level 5 bio-hazard.

F*ck*ing sissy. It makes you tough! Just like the can and the mob: shut your mouth and do the time.

You ever been in a French highway toilet? No, you're only used to those half-ass British missy toilets. French public toilets are real gore. The horror!
In space, there is a possibility left somebody can hear you scream. But not in a French highway toilet...

Thinking back, I don't think I've ever shat in any toilet except my own.

Its all relative:



When you gotta go, you gotta go.

hahahaha too funny! Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go!

What's the big deal with public toilets?

A. I enjoy reading the graffiti
B. You can make obnoxious grunts and no one will know it's you
C. It's your ASS for christsakes. It's not exactly the cleanest part of your body to begin with.

I mean I'm generally a very clean, sanitary person, but this is really no big deal.

You've got to go prison style in public toilets. Paper round the edges.

This is where Shit-brick comes to mind!!!!

I have no problem using public toilets. If there's some debris around, I wipe it away, and I'm all set. Don't bother with the paper ass-gasget garbage, which does nothing by the way.

I think my favorite, at the local community college john, was:

ISRAEL

THE ONLY NATION PROPHESISED [sic] TO COME OUT ON TOP

"There are two kinds of men. Those with dirty cocks, so when they go for a piss, they have to wash their hands afterwards to clean them. And those with clean cocks, so when they go for a piss, they wash their hands before hand so as not to dirty it." Détective; Jean-Luc Godard

Apply that to shitting, and you get the idea. Would you shake hands with a guy who's just been for a shit and didn't wash his hands? I wouldn't. And so I wouldn't like to sit down on a seat he's just sat on to shit in either.

That final sentence was fantastic. Read it again.

That was indeed a fantastic sentence!
You don't have to eat with your ass. You don't touch somebody with your ass. You don't wash your face with your ass. You don't smell your ass.

All things I do with my hands.

That said, I have to admit I go to public toilets like in the army, I cover the seat with toilet paper. And for number one, I hold in my breath, something that only works if I didn't drink too much.

but some people do talk out of their ass

You sniff with your hands? :p

That was a fantastic sentence...good use of alliteration. James Joyce would be proud.
If you worked at it, I bet you can arrange this into heroic couplets.

That was a fantastic sentence...good use of alliteration. James Joyce would be proud.
If you worked at it, I bet you can arrange this into heroic couplets. [/b][/quote]Now I've got a problem that a thread about toilets has become too intelligent for me. I thought that this was my level.

Now I've got a problem that a thread about toilets has become too intelligent for me. I thought that this was my level. [/QB][/QUOTE]

After all, where does one do his or her best thinking?

I have no problem paying. Of course I also better be shitting on a gold throne.

Now I've got a problem that a thread about toilets has become too intelligent for me. I thought that this was my level. [/QB][/quote]After all, where does one do his or her best thinking? [/QB][/QUOTE]

I play Hold 'Em on my phone. I can be in there hours at a time.