Hello, and before you start reading, this post is about 'love' or however it is that you want to call it. Be warned.
I don't think anyone will remember, but about a month ago, I wrote one of those typical "Oh, I'm in love, save me" posts and this one concerns that same girl. We were going to go out today (or yesterday, because it was Saturday) and we had kept on arraging it throughout the whole week. So I called her at 3 PM and talked to her, and she said to me that she would call more people and that she would tell me what we were going to do at 6 PM (she'd call me at 6) but then, time flew, and it was 7 PM and she still hadn't called me. So I called her, and she said to me that the plan was off and that she didn't feel like doing anything. She sounded depressed. We argued, and I told her that she didn't have the right to just end the plan whenever she pleased and that we were not her toys and that I was getting sick of her changes of mood (even though it's the first one) and that I didn't understand her, etc, so in the end, after 10 minutes of arguing and screaming, I told her "You know what?! To hell with you!" and threw the phone. A couple of minutes later, a friend of mine called and told me that she was upset because her sister had just been operated. My heart froze.
Immediately, I called her and apologized, I told her that she knew how I was when I didn't get an answer and that she should have told me, and that I was deeply sorry and that apologizing is very difficult for me, but all I got was a "Hello", a "Hm" and a "Bye". My friend went to visit her along with his girlfriend, and he said that she was upset all night and that whenever they mentioned my name, she put a "
"face and regretted that I wasn't there with her.
As for me, at 11 PM I went to a friend's house, and at 11:30 PM I decided to go to her house to apologize personally. However, the distance from where I was and where she lives is VERY long, so I had to go halfway through the city in order to get there. Before getting there, I went to a nice Café and bought her a Baci (her favourite chocolate {also, it has a symbolic meaning to us because one day she bought me one and she bought one for herself and we read the message in the street, together}) but the guy told me that they were closing, so I nearly BEGGED and he finally gave me one for free. I nearly kissed him. So I went to her house, which was a block away, and the guardian said that they had all gone to sleep and that I shouldn't awake her. The guy's my friend, so we talked for a while and he said that they had turned off the lights 30 minutes ago and that I should call before he let me in. So I had my friend call (the one with whom I was before going to her house, he was with me all along), and he talked to her father and he said she was already asleep. I didn't want to wake her up. I accepted my defeat and told the guardian to give her the chocolate as soon as he could, first thing in the morning. Then, I went back home, going halfway through town again.
All for love. Victory, pyrrhic victory or defeat?
I think many more people must have done much tougher and difficult things, but for me, it's a first. The first time I can act selflessly and not want anything in return.
Unbelievable.
Thanks for reading, I just had to let it all go.
