Post deleted by Partagas

I drink mad amounts of water. I always carry a bottle with me wherever I go...and I usually save my gatorate bottles to put some in, saves me from having to refill so often.

Good stuff...but do you know why I only drink pure grain alcohol and rain water?

Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water? On no account will a Commie ever drink water, and not without good reason.

I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Fluoridation Mandrake!

In the name of her majesty and the Continental Congress, come here and feed me this belt, boy!

I've no idea what you're talking about, but I drink about one liter of H2O a day.

Do you know what a liter is, in the USA, or do you only use gallons, and that other crazy stuff? :p

We use both

Anyone said fake?

Yeah, that crazy stuff, you know, standard units. :p

Then again, its only standard for us, and even our vehicles have metric and SAE on them, so I dunno.

This is what we all really need though...
1 .45 automatic.
2 boxes of ammunition.
4 days' concentrated emergency rations.
1 drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills.
1 miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible.
100 dollars in rubles.
100 dollars in gold.
9 packs of chewing gum.
1 issue of prophylactics.
3 lipsticks.
3 pairs of nylon stockings.

Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

Yikes

Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.

You know when fluoridation first began?

Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.

Answer:
General jack D. Ripper to Group Captain Mandrake.

Question: You are the only person authorized to do so. And although I hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like General Ripper exceeded his authority.

I think you meant to start that sentence with "a mere 2% increase in alcohol intake can trigger..."

I drink plenty of water...
it keeps me healthy but does nothing for my bladder

General "Buck" Turgidson: That's right, sir, you are the only person authorized to do so. And although I hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like General Ripper exceeded his authority.

but let's keep it to the water...

There once was a General Ripper
Of bodily fluids a sipper
Quite an actor was he
Playing Captain McCluskey
As he drank from Sollozzo's glass slipper.

There once was man from Nantucket...

I forget how the rest of it goes...

I think it might have been rude

Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, ah...when did you first become, well, develop this theory?