Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey"
.
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

This one was told to me by an Irish bartender:

Q: Why is American beer like having sex in a rowboat?

A: Either way, it's f***ing close to water!



Signor V.

Lol! That's why you gotta drink Molson Canadian! Happy St. Patrick's Day Everyone!

Always liked Molson - and after enough Molsons, even Moosehead tastes good!

Signor V.

Lol! That's what I like to hear. I've been known to grab me some moosehead every now and then . Carling's ok too. I used to think M.G.D. was really shitty but I had a bottle the other day and it's not that bad eh. But for me, Molson Canadian is like my standard beer beer. Budweiser's alright, Coors Light's ok but nothing really beats M.C.!

In keeping with the spirit of things:

A fellow walks into a bar carrying a small suitcase. He asks the bartender for two beers - one in a standard mug and the other in a shot glass. As the bartender serves him, the customer places the suitcase on the bar, opens it, and takes out a very small piano followed by a man exactly one foot tall. The little man drinks the beer from the shot glass, then sits down at the piano and plays the most beautiful classical music imaginable.

The amazed bartender asks his customer, "Where on earth did you ever find him?"

"Well," the customer replied, "while I was on vacation in Ireland last year, I was hiking through the woods when I found one of the Wee Folk trapped under a large rock. He pleaded with me to free him, saying he would grant me anything I wished for. He was a bit hard of hearing - so I ended up with a twelve inch pianist."

Signor V.

Lol Signor Vitelli, American beer is indeed as weak as piss.

Budweiser, Coors - headache juice, with none of the fun

Plus they have all them 'light' versions for pussies. And I guarantee they'll still order a kebab on the way home.

Anyway Doc, what are you talking about. Aint you a southern shandy drinker?

Sam Adams and Michelob are two awesome, full bodied beers.

Sam Adams?? What about Sam Jackson?! It'll get you drunk, motha fucka!! :p

You get more in a London pint than oop north my friend. At £3 a pint, there's none of this foamy head rubbish going on. It's beer all the way

You're drinking flat beer? I actually thought you'd be on the blue wkd's being a southerner and all. When I was in Chelsea last year I had to break the bank for a bloody round of drinks. Us poor northerners can't afford that.

Has the beer prices gone up everywhere? I thought they increase after the budget. My local has just bumped up Fosters and Stella to £2.45 and £2.75 respectively. I'm going to sound like I'm getting old now but I remember when I could get 3 pints in for a £5er.

You'll be fuckin' fat chicks in no time! You might even fight a nigga or two! UmmmMmmmm!

Thought you'd be on the Mann's and Toon Broon!

I've paid £3.20 for Kronenbourg... in a PUB... £2.75 for Stella is about standard, apart from Weatherspoons of course.

Double-J, I didn't mean to yell. I can't help it, "THAAT'S JUST THE WAAY I TALK! AIN'T YOU SEEN MY MOVIES?"